Sunday, August 12, 2012

In God's Hands

It's been a while since I have posted. I have an excuse though. This has been an incredibly difficult month for me in regards to my health. After I last posted about my struggle with infertility, I went to see my amazing Napro doctor up here in Massachusetts and we decided that the best course of action to improve my fertility was to get me into surgery. He put me in touch with another amazing Napro doctor in New Jersey and we scheduled the surgery for mid September.

After that it all went to heck.

I won't bore anyone with long stories but after being in and out of the hospital for the past two weeks in terrible, horrible pain... we moved up the surgery to this coming Tuesday.

It was an especially difficult decision to make because the following Saturday is the wedding of my amazing sister-in-law Lainey and I am heartbroken to not be able to attend. Thankfully though Kyle will still be at his sister's wedding while my parents take over care of me for those couple of days.

The outlook is very good. The doctors are reasonably certain that I have endometriosis but since I have been able to have two kids already they are in high hopes that after the surgery it will be gone and I will be able to have more. On top of that, all the pain I have been in for these past few months, even the horrible back pain, should mostly go away. So praise God!

I have an incredible support system. My husband, my parents, my sisters, my in-laws, my friends... everyone seems to be coming out of the woodwork with prayers and love and those who live close to us are bending over backwards to help us out. I feel incredibly blessed. I feel at peace.

Surgery is a scary thing but I have a lot of faith in my doctors, partly because they are excellent and partly because both of them are also men of God and I know that the Divine Physician is leading and guiding them.

God is good to me and I can't complain. I am glad to offer up my suffering for others but I'm also really glad that very soon there will be less suffering to offer up.

And then, of course, I am hoping that there will be some morning sickness to give glory to God for.

No matter what, it is clear that He is in control. I won't surrender to fear and self pity. I am blessed and I am under Our Lady's mantle of protection.

Please pray for me on Tuesday, that the surgery goes well and that the doctor can ready my body to carry life again. Thank you all for your love and support.