Saturday, September 15, 2012

With her sassy pants on

When today started off I honestly should have known that it would be one of those days...

I woke up after having gotten maybe five hours of sleep and was immediately thrown into the impossible task of waking up the sleeping beasts. At night, when they are all sweet and innocent they are my sleeping beauties. Morning... beasts. Just like mommy.

But we had ballet and Madeleine had to wear clothes and she did NOT want to wake up and she did NOT want to wear clothes and she did NOT want to leave the house. Somehow though the three of us made it out and over the ballet studio. Late. Of course.

Although she spent the first ten minutes attached to my leg, everything changed when the teacher brought out magic wands for the girls to dance with. Suddenly Madeleine was transformed from shy three year old to graceful princess... at least in her own mind. After that she was front and center, attentive, while her sister looked on, swept up and filled with the same awe I felt the first time I went to the Nutcracker.

We left after it was all finished, twirling through the hallways and out to the car. And then it all just fell apart. All of us overtired, two thirds of us tired, and one third of us... wearing sassy pants.

I want to know WHO EXACTLY bought Madeleine her own super special pair of sassy pants recently because hooooooo boy has she been strutting around in them. 

These are two of the conversations we had today:

Madeleine- Mommy, I want some ice cream.
Me- No Madeleine, we are not having ice cream right now.
Madeleine- Well that is a bad choice.

Me- Madeleine, it is time for prayers.
Madeleine- First we will do prayers, then I will get medicine.
Me- No, you do not need medicine. You are not sick.
Madeleine- Those are my rules.

I mean REALLY. I thought kids were supposed to at least hit puberty before they became teenagers.

But seriously, usually Madeleine is a really sweet kid. Today was a hard day.

And she was not the only Behr baby to be put in the corner. "Nobody puts baby in the corner!" Think again. My twenty-one month old is well aquainted with it. My favorite story of Juliette today was when Madeleine was quietly constructing a house out of boxes. Juliette came over and Madeleine begged her not to touch it. She pushed it over and then, laughing hysterically, grabbed three out of five boxes Madeleine was using and took off running. Madeleine chased her, crying. Juliette sped up laughing.

It was one of those days.

My favorite memory, the one that will make me miss the sleeping beauties tonight, was after their nap when we were all curled up on the couch together. Madeleine on my lap, Juliette under my arm. We were all just staring at each other and talking and laughing and it was warm and sweet and perfect.

Hopefully tomorrow we will all be a bit more well rested and Madeleine's sassy pants will be folded away in her drawer.

And hopefully I will be able to figure out a way to post the video of Juliette singing "Elmo's World." Good stuff.

Friday, September 14, 2012

The Return of Sheek and Scolag

I'm not going to lie. I don't think I was really prepared for just how weird kids are. I'd spent a lot of time around children growing up and they do say ridiculous stuff... but still... my kids are odd.

I love it. I'm odd. I sometimes surprise myself with the things I think and say. Kyle is odd too. When I predicted traits that our kids were going to inherit from their parents I figured, tall with long legs. Maybe a bit nerdy. Definitely conservative and not all that coordinated. I should have added weird to the list. My kids. Just like me. Weird.

I gave birth to two daughters. They couldn't be any more different. I mean, they don't even look related to begin with but in personality as well. Madeleine is serious, loyal, imaginative, dreamy, sensitive, shy, concerned for others, headstrong, and very loving. Juliette is wild, extremely affectionate, full of energy, gregarious, laughs easily, social, determined, generous, kind of hilarious, curious... and oh boy is she affectionate. The biggest thing they have in common is their love for each other. Madeleine adores her sister, takes care of her... and Juliette things that the sun rises and sets with Madeleine. They are best friends. And they are both weird.

But we don't get to meet new people all that much and when we do I sometimes back my car into their homes. Bygones. Anywho... Madeleine was in search of new friends.

Sheek and Scolag first made their "appearance" a couple of weeks ago, right after the surgery when I was staying home a lot. With names like pagan gods and the ability appear only when I am not looking, they became Madeleine's newest friends... much to the dismay of Juliette who couldn't figure out why Madeleine wasn't playing with her all of a sudden.

They'd been gone for a couple of weeks. Probably because we had been getting out of the house more. But I have been sick for the past couple of days and we have been staying in.

And today they returned.

Hopefully though, since tomorrow Madeleine starts ballet, Sheek and Scolag will depart again. They honestly kind of creep me out.

Kids are just weird little creatures... and I cannot get enough. I wish I was more like them.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


Well... I'm alive!!!

I realize that I haven't written since before my surgery so some people may have assumed that I died... or something. Really though laziness, my own mental sanity, and Ally McBeal reruns have taken precedence over blogging lately. Mentally and emotionally I have had a lot to sift through and it's hard to get back into the pattern of something like "blogging" when you've taken a lot of time off.

The surgery went very well and I healed really quickly. I mean seriously, I was at the park with the kids a week later. Heck the next day I was at Starbucks. Of course, that doesn't say much because not many things could keep me and caffeine apart for more than 24 hours. Bygones.

Anywho, I'm starting to get back into the grove of life. It's been crazy here. I'm starting "home school" preschool with Madeleine, ballet begins Saturday, cleaning out the basement, giving old clothes to charity when Kyle isn't around to hoard, mom's groups, play groups, my 27th birthday, Kyle's 30th (I call him my Woody Allen), Juliette's second birthday, a wedding in November, a godmother two weeks later, Kyle applying for jobs in other cities before the company is bought, Kyle working tons of overtime, fretting about the election, fretting about fertility, trying to be somewhat domestic and decorate for the seasons and holidays, trying to convince Kyle I need new boots... LIFE. Whew. Exhausted.

Most of the time it's really good. Kyle has had to work 10-20 hours of overtime a week lately. I've been really missing him. With his company being bought by Southwest this is a very crazy time for him. I do my best to be the supportive wife; keeping the right beer in stock, looking pretty, making food, keeping the kids alive and happy, constantly thanking him for his sheer amazingness, and restarting the blog. It was his request that I get back into it. Despite listening to me talk all day he still wants to hear what I have to say. Especially because apparently my musings are more entertaining to him when written down. I tend to think that is partly because he tends to space out when I'm talking. Bygones.

The little ones are as adorable as ever. I wish I could copy and paste a lot of my facebook statuses into the blog. They are constantly amazing to me. Madeleine spent a lot of time playing "doctor" when I got back from surgery. She would life up my shirt and examine my incisions and ask me how I was feeling and if I was getting better. She had a hard time with the fact that I wasn't allowed to life her. Finally, one day, I got the go-ahead from my doctor to pick up my children. I immediately went over to her and scooped her up. She glowed, smiling and burying her head into my shoulder. She met my eyes and said, "Your boo-boo is all better? You can pick me up now?" I told her, "Yes." For the next few days she had me carry her everywhere. Even when going from the bathroom to the playroom she wanted me to carry her just because she had missed the feeling of being held by her mommy.

Juliette, on the other hand, was so excited to see me when I came home from the hospital that she immediately crawled up onto me, wrapped her arms around my next, kissed me, and kneed me in the incision. I didn't care. Nothing was more painful that being away from them.

The whole summer was hard, not being able to take them to the park or the zoo or museaums without Kyle to help because I was in too much pain. Now it's the little joys. Being able to strap them into the minivan and just go, knowing that I am able to take care of my kids away from the comfort of my home and my couch.

They are growing up way too fast these days. Preschool age? Almost two? My poor heart can barely comprehend it. There is just so much to do. They have so much they want to share with me and show me and so much they want to do with me. Even when it is just sitting as they perform a dance or play tea party or make up some ridiculous story. I can give them my attention now. I don't have pain constantly there, a distraction and hinderance.

Now the only thing holding me back are the dreams I haven't been able to realize. I can't move forward without giving them to God. Not giving up on them, just giving them to Someone who knows my heart a lot better than I do. Life doesn't always go the way you want it to go. My life is pretty amazing. If it were up to me I wouldn't have health problems... God is teaching me to suffer well. If it were up to me I'd be pregnant by now... God is teaching me about patience and trust. It doesn't always make sense to me and it doesn't always click... but it's Truth. God knows best. God loves me. God's plan is perfect. And if everyone gets sick of listening to my struggles, He never does.

I'm going to Carpe Diem for a bit because life is a lot better than it was four short weeks ago. My kids are beautiful and they make me laugh and they will only be this age for so long. And I know being in the moment is exhausting but I have spent too much time worrying about the future. That is far more exhausting to me.