Thursday, November 17, 2011

Things you might want to do when your kids are driving you nuts

1. Lock yourself in the bathroom with a sleeve of Oreos. Eat them in the fetal position. Only leave for another sleeve.

2. Lock them in the bathroom with a sleeve of Oreos. Hey, it works for me, why wouldn't it work for them?

3. Call the baby sitter. Lie. Tell her you have a doctor's appointment. Laugh as you pull out of the driveway. Let her calls go to voice mail.

4. Stop by your husband's place of employment to "surprise him". Accidentally forget to bring the kids home with you. They'll be fine with daddy.

5. Put a screen around the bed and just let them go nuts jumping. Then when the wear themselves out they'll have a place to crash safely.

6. Record them. Bask in the knowledge that you will have this footage to show to potential future suitors.

Of course, I would never actually do any of the above. I'll take the Oreos and leave the rest.

Most days aren't like this. They are usually pretty darn sweet and well behaved... and awfully cute... and they snuggle up so sweetly when their head stops spinning.

Crud. Now I want another.

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