A piece of heaven

Today before mass I found myself on hands and knees under the car next to me fetching Madeleine's Hello Kitty Hairbrush I had picked up in the dollar section at Target earlier that day. That was the shopping trip where I spent the money I had been saving for shoes for myself on shoes for the girls and a bed rail for Madeleine's big girl bed. No new shoes for mommy.

At home the fridge and cabinets are stocked full of Madeleine and Juliette's favorite healthy foods. Anything to get these kids to eat something good for them, even though most of it is a little bland for my taste.

I rarely ever eat at the same time as them. I get their food ready and by the time I am sitting down with my serving, they are done with theirs and they are crawling onto my lap trying to get mine.

I'm never in the bathroom alone, most days I shower while the girls play hide and seek in the curtain. I clean the playroom every night, same toys in the same drawers, same books back on the shelf.

From the time I found out I was pregnant with Madeleine my needs took a back seat as I strive to give my growing child the best. I gave up alcohol, ordered my steak well done, stopped adding feta to my salads, and upped the amounts of fruits and veggies in my diet. I find joy in sacrificing for them.

That's not to say in all of this that my needs do not get met because they do. I eat, I shower, I buy new clothes. I have a loving husband who gives me a break when I need it and tries to herd the kids out of the bathroom when I just need to shower in peace. It's just that my needs come second to theirs.

We are both hungry, I feed them first.
We both need new shoes, they get them first.
I want to relax in front of face book and they want to read, it's story time.

It's simple to me. This is one of the best ways I can imitate Christ in my vocation. I have a plaque by my kitchen sink with a quote from Blessed Mother Theresa that says, "Do small things with great love." I can take a cue from her and do the small tasks of my life with great love. I can do the dishes with great love. I can was the laundry with great love. I can change a diaper with great love. They aren't the most exciting tasks in the world but when made into a prayer they will be what makes me into a saint.

Being down on your hands and knees in your Sunday best looking for your daughter's new toy is not exactly the glamorous life but seeing her face light up when I found it made it all worth it. And then leaving mass today, Juliette turned in my arms and started waving and blowing kisses to the statue of Our Lady saying, "Bye Mary! Bye Mary!" It's the small things that will get me to heaven and the small things that let me know that I have a piece of heaven right here.