Momma Behr: LOOK MOM! CRACK!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

LOOK MOM! CRACK!

It's 8:08 pm and I just gave both of my kids large cups of chocolate milk. No idea where my brain is today... Sunday is the one day I hope they get to bed on time so I can watch Once Upon a Time in peace, just me and the honey and lemon tea in my Mrs Spencer Reid mug.

Yesterday I took the girls grocery shopping, searched out one of the carts with the cars in front so they would remain happy, and of course after a few minutes they cried mutiny. Naturally. So I gave Juliette my keys to eat and the little scanner from the front of the store to Madeleine. This led to every old lady in the store coming up to me and asking if I really wanted my baby to be chewing on my car keys and Madeleine walking up to a complete stranger (that looked like me) and saying, "Look mom! CRACK!".

Of course the scanner she was holding had a picture of crackers in the display scene and I was wearing my Northface hoodie with my blond hair neatly tucked in a headband so she didn't bat an eyelash. But if it had been a few days ago when I had bags under my eyes so bad I looked like I had been clocked across the face, sweat pants stained with the tears and runny noses of two sick toddlers, and the voice someone who loves her some Palmols, there MAY have been issues. Oh flu/bronchitis you did NOT make for my prettiest days. (I looked like I was on drugs.)

Today was mostly uneventful, teaching Madeleine how to Tebow and hardcore dance parties before daddy got home from work. We all went to mass together arriving 5 minutes late and during the homily. Note to my priest friends, PLEASE do not start mass early. Fifty percent of the time one or both of my kids poops on the way out the door and we arrive five minutes late and it stinks to already be on the homily. Especially when we are still trying to learn the parts to the new mass translation. When in doubt I usually just go with, "And with your spirit."

Now I am across the room from the kids while they play kitchen. Why? One of them smells. PMS makes me queasy so I am trying to gather up the nerve to figure out which one and change them.

Life is good. Madeleine and I took lots of photos of ourselves while the baby napped and just had so much fun together. It helps that we are just sooooo good looking and hilarious. At least we think so. Hate on, haters! Just kidding.