Adventures in Blunder-land

With Advent right around the corner I need to prepare my heart for Christ. I cannot do this without getting a few transgressions off my heart.

To my sister Lauren- I'm sorry I never let you be the Pink Ranger when we played Power Rangers and that you always had to be the Yellow Ranger. I'm also sorry that my teaching you to play hide and seek caused you to sleep with your eyes slightly open. In all fairness, you were a pretty bad hider.

To my First Grade Teacher- I'm sorry I fainted and then puked on you when I cut my finger and I'm sorry that you had to go home and shower while I did cartwheels in the hallways as I waited for my mom to come get me. Clearly my suffering was far less than yours.

To that squirrel I made pee on a rock- I didn't mean to scare you little buddy!

To the youth group we shared a room with at that camp we went to- I'm sorry I sang at midnight when we had to be up at six the next morning. I realize now that this was not an appropriate time to do impressions of choir singers.

To the dolphins at the aquarium- I'm sorry I made dolphin noises at you. I just wanted to be friends.

...with that in mind...

To the cows at the petting zoo- I'm sorry I told you that I was unimpressed by your ability to produce milk. I was new to lactation at the time and feeling wonderful about my skills. You are awesome.

To those people I scared when I wore my bunny costume at night in Marian Hall- I didn't mean to frighten you. I didn't realize how many people were afraid of giant rabbits. Easter must be very hard for you.

To the guy I flicked off driving when I was nine months pregnant- I don't know what came over me... but that will teach you to tailgate a woman with a Baby on Board window sticker

To Anthony our Favorite Starbucks Barista- I'm sorry that I sang you a song to the tune of "Movin Out" by Billy Joel when you announced you were leaving Starbucks. I'm even sorrier that I couldn't figure out any words beyond, "Anthony works at the Starbucks-y store savin' his pennies for someday." Not my most brilliant performance.

To the people across the street from me- I'm sorry I dance with the blinds open. No one should have to watch that train wreck day in and day out.

To my kids- I'm sorry for all of the times I will embarrass you. You now think I am the coolest person alive but soon you will realize that mommy is really kind of a nerd. With a side of crazy. Just remember to not take life too seriously and you will have lots of embarrassing stories of your own to tell some day.

To my husband- No apologies go to you. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you married me. And you know you love it.

I feel much better!