1. I told my mother today that I keep forgetting things that have recently happened, like putting my debit card back into my wallet or putting sugar in my coffee. It's like I'm having mini strokes.
2. I decided Juliette had grown out of 18 month clothing so I stored all of it in a box in the basement and got her 24 month clothing out of storage and washed it. Then I realized that the 24 month clothing is way too big for her. I am having a hard time motivating myself to rectify my mistake... don't pant legs just roll up?
3. I am spending the weekend at my parent's house because my dad is on retreat and my husband is working a double tomorrow. GIRLS WEEKEND! Therefore my mom and I will be renting every chick flick our husbands refuse to watch with us, eating Italian food, drinking wine, and of course, shopping.
4. In our absence Kyle spent the afternoon assembling the wooden train table that the girl's train set will on at Christmas. There is a 90 percent chance that he will spend tomorrow setting up the tracks and acting as conductor. Sometimes I wonder how I would do with a son but then I remember that often times it wouldn't be much different than how I deal with Kyle.
5. Some days I wish I could exist exclusively off nachos, brownie batter, and coffee. If I could do that and not become the fattest person ever... or you know, die.... I would totally do it.
6. I realized why I have such a massive crush on Dr Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. It's because he is Kyle but with guns. Kyle's specialty is knowing random facts about random things and then telling you them whether you want to hear them or not. I find him very interesting. I will say that I'm glad he knows about planes and Catholic teaching instead of the behavioral characteristics of phycopaths. But still, intelligence and nerdiness is a type of hotness that I cannot deny. So Kyle, my crush on a fictional character is a tribute to my love for you. Be proud!
7. Thanksgiving is next weekend. I have plans to visit with my crazy extended family, have a sleepover and watch the sparkly vampires with my sisters, drink with my friends that I graduated high school with, and dominate family games night. This means hopefully hilarious blog posts for my readers. And Juliette's 1st birthday is next week! That means I'll be throwing some super cute pictures at you as well! Stay tuned!
For more fun visit http://www.conversiondiary.com/.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Friday, November 18, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Things I have learned about Motherhood
Motherhood has a learning curve. With each child you have you learn more about yourself than you ever imagined. You also learn about your child (I hope). Annnnnd, you learn a lot about others and the world in which we live
1. Not everyone wants to hear about your kids.
BUT WHO CARES! Post about them anyway. The people that aren't your real friends can defriend you or block your feed, whatever! You only have a limited amount of time to brag about your babies firsts and their bowel movements and how cute they are before they get a facebook account of their own and yell at you. Your children are a part of you, my children are my heart. Why wouldn't I want to brag to the world about their cuteness? So if someone gives you grief about how your facebook or twitter has been entirely devoted to your little ones tell Tin Man to get a heart and just keep doing what you are doing.
2. Each kid is different.
I only have two kids and even I know this! Your parenting style should adapt to each special personality. Don't be so set in your ways that you don't recognize the individuality of each child.
3. Calm the heck down.
There is no reason your baby needs to know their ABCs by the time they are two. Do some art projects and play outside. If your kid is advanced, great. If not, don't sweat it. Kids tend to do things at their own pace so don't compare them to other kids and don't push them too hard because YOU think they should be somewhere they are not. If you have concerns, talk to your pediatrician. If he or she assures you that they are on track, listen to them. If they are concerned about anything, don't freak out. Many kids struggle through different developmental stages and they turn out just fine. It's pushing too hard or ignoring problems all together that compounds issues in the future. Love your child where they are and trust your instincts, just not the crazy ones.
4. Laugh at the crazy
There will be nights where both kids are up until one in the morning screaming and running in circles. You are exhausted and ready to put them on the front lawn with a sign that says "Free". Laugh about it. All moms have been there and they can share in your pain. If you let yourself get too stressed you will end up being cranky with the kids and that is no good for anyone.
5. Ask for help
Whether it is your hubby or a baby sitter, your parents or your in laws, don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It doesn't mean you are a failure, it just means you are tapped out. Take a nap or a date night and forget about the laundry at home. We all need a break at times. Motherhood is the only job you work 24/7, no matter if you stay home all day or go to work as well. Take some time for you and you will be a better mother to your kids.
6. People will think you are wrong.
About EVERYTHING. The nice people make suggestions. Others stick their noses in the air and tell you that if you do/don't get your kid vaccinated, etc that you are a disgrace to motherhood. Honestly, just ignore them. Do your research, talk to your spouse, and make a prayerful decision together. Then stop worrying about what others think. Nobody wants the best for your children more than you so when people try to tell you what to do, it's usually to make themselves feel important. Not to actually help. If they have good advice, don't be so prideful you won't take it but ignore all the negative. And then laugh about it later with your spouse.
7. Pray every day.
It's really the only way to stay sane and it's the only way you will be able to do motherhood right. Our babies are a gift from God and no one knows how to love them better than Him, so just talk to God all the time and let Him lead you.
8. Less is more.
You want your kid to have everything, that is normal. But it's also a pain in the butt to clean up. Limit toys and books, store things you aren't using. For differnt developmental stages I rotate out toys. That way they have new things to explore and learn with and everything they own isn't all over the floor at once. Same with clothes. My kids have a lot more clothing in the smaller sizes than they do in their larger sizes. That's because I finally go just how much money I spent and how little they wore each item. It's cute, but not necessary.
9. Give them siblings
My sisters are so incredibly important to me and the person I have become. Juliette is already Madeleine's best friend. I know some people may not be able to have large families because of health, infertility, or severe money issues, but those things aside nothing is a better gift than a sibling. If I had to make a choice between a fancy vacation, an upgrade to my house or car, jewelry, new electronics, new toys, new clothes for myself or a new baby... I would choose a new baby every time. With that said, spend quality alone time with each child you have and celebrate the gift that THEY are. Don't beat yourself up if you aren't keeping up with the Duggars. I know I won't be! Use NFP and you will be trusting in God's plan for your family. No plan is better than His.
10. Make time for your spouse
You wouldn't even have your babies without him. The happiest children comes from families with happy marriages. You can't have a happy marriage if you don't take time out to spend with each other. Always put your spouse before yourself and look to exemplify a marriage centered on God for the world by loving each other like He loves His Church, so much that He died for it.
That's ten things and I am super tired so I am done for the night. I'm a beginner mommy so I know these things may seem "duh" but the were amazing things for me to learn over these past two and a half years. I am thankful for Kyle and my super awesome and adorable babies to teach me every day. Motherhood has changed me to my very core and made me a better person than I ever dreamed I could be. I still have a looong way to go but I'll have God and my family by my side for the journey so I think I'll get there.
1. Not everyone wants to hear about your kids.
BUT WHO CARES! Post about them anyway. The people that aren't your real friends can defriend you or block your feed, whatever! You only have a limited amount of time to brag about your babies firsts and their bowel movements and how cute they are before they get a facebook account of their own and yell at you. Your children are a part of you, my children are my heart. Why wouldn't I want to brag to the world about their cuteness? So if someone gives you grief about how your facebook or twitter has been entirely devoted to your little ones tell Tin Man to get a heart and just keep doing what you are doing.
2. Each kid is different.
I only have two kids and even I know this! Your parenting style should adapt to each special personality. Don't be so set in your ways that you don't recognize the individuality of each child.
3. Calm the heck down.
There is no reason your baby needs to know their ABCs by the time they are two. Do some art projects and play outside. If your kid is advanced, great. If not, don't sweat it. Kids tend to do things at their own pace so don't compare them to other kids and don't push them too hard because YOU think they should be somewhere they are not. If you have concerns, talk to your pediatrician. If he or she assures you that they are on track, listen to them. If they are concerned about anything, don't freak out. Many kids struggle through different developmental stages and they turn out just fine. It's pushing too hard or ignoring problems all together that compounds issues in the future. Love your child where they are and trust your instincts, just not the crazy ones.
4. Laugh at the crazy
There will be nights where both kids are up until one in the morning screaming and running in circles. You are exhausted and ready to put them on the front lawn with a sign that says "Free". Laugh about it. All moms have been there and they can share in your pain. If you let yourself get too stressed you will end up being cranky with the kids and that is no good for anyone.
5. Ask for help
Whether it is your hubby or a baby sitter, your parents or your in laws, don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It doesn't mean you are a failure, it just means you are tapped out. Take a nap or a date night and forget about the laundry at home. We all need a break at times. Motherhood is the only job you work 24/7, no matter if you stay home all day or go to work as well. Take some time for you and you will be a better mother to your kids.
6. People will think you are wrong.
About EVERYTHING. The nice people make suggestions. Others stick their noses in the air and tell you that if you do/don't get your kid vaccinated, etc that you are a disgrace to motherhood. Honestly, just ignore them. Do your research, talk to your spouse, and make a prayerful decision together. Then stop worrying about what others think. Nobody wants the best for your children more than you so when people try to tell you what to do, it's usually to make themselves feel important. Not to actually help. If they have good advice, don't be so prideful you won't take it but ignore all the negative. And then laugh about it later with your spouse.
7. Pray every day.
It's really the only way to stay sane and it's the only way you will be able to do motherhood right. Our babies are a gift from God and no one knows how to love them better than Him, so just talk to God all the time and let Him lead you.
8. Less is more.
You want your kid to have everything, that is normal. But it's also a pain in the butt to clean up. Limit toys and books, store things you aren't using. For differnt developmental stages I rotate out toys. That way they have new things to explore and learn with and everything they own isn't all over the floor at once. Same with clothes. My kids have a lot more clothing in the smaller sizes than they do in their larger sizes. That's because I finally go just how much money I spent and how little they wore each item. It's cute, but not necessary.
9. Give them siblings
My sisters are so incredibly important to me and the person I have become. Juliette is already Madeleine's best friend. I know some people may not be able to have large families because of health, infertility, or severe money issues, but those things aside nothing is a better gift than a sibling. If I had to make a choice between a fancy vacation, an upgrade to my house or car, jewelry, new electronics, new toys, new clothes for myself or a new baby... I would choose a new baby every time. With that said, spend quality alone time with each child you have and celebrate the gift that THEY are. Don't beat yourself up if you aren't keeping up with the Duggars. I know I won't be! Use NFP and you will be trusting in God's plan for your family. No plan is better than His.
10. Make time for your spouse
You wouldn't even have your babies without him. The happiest children comes from families with happy marriages. You can't have a happy marriage if you don't take time out to spend with each other. Always put your spouse before yourself and look to exemplify a marriage centered on God for the world by loving each other like He loves His Church, so much that He died for it.
That's ten things and I am super tired so I am done for the night. I'm a beginner mommy so I know these things may seem "duh" but the were amazing things for me to learn over these past two and a half years. I am thankful for Kyle and my super awesome and adorable babies to teach me every day. Motherhood has changed me to my very core and made me a better person than I ever dreamed I could be. I still have a looong way to go but I'll have God and my family by my side for the journey so I think I'll get there.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Seven Quick Takes- Maybe if I had more coffee I would be coherent.
1. Juliette Marie will be the death of me. She started walking this week (hooray) and today while we waiting for Kyle to show up she carried a chair around Carters looking for something to climb. I spend most of my day trying to prevent her from diving headfirst off of chairs and couches... or from choking the one small magnet that slip down the fridge to where she could reach it. I'm gonna go grey sooner than I thought.
2. Right now Madeleine is playing with her ABC puzzle, Juliette has climbed up the couch and is leaning over the box with their cardboard blocks in it, removing them one by one and laughing/grunting happily. (Not that I just put them all back in there five minutes ago or anything. Really, that was just a stupid move on my part.) Madeleine looks over periodically, shakes her head, and says, "No Ju-etch. No baby."
3. Madeleine is now interested in TOYS. This means while we shop she reaches over and puts something she wants in the cart. If I take it out, she tells me, "No. Madeleine like (insert toy/movie/sock here)." This makes check out interesting. She places the item on the belt and I stealthily signal to the check out person that said item will not be going home with us. I distract Madeleine with my awesome dance skills or something equally embarrassing to us all and we get out of the store without incident. I know I could explain it to her and just tell her no from the beginning but I'm tired and just want to shop without the screaming. My system works for now.
4. With her new found interest in TOYS, Madeleine requests on a daily basis to go to Toys R Us to play with the trains. She hasn't figured out yet that we can actually buy stuff there so I'm usually good with it. She also has no idea that SANTA is getting her a wooden train set for Christmas! Until then we are making our weekly pilgrimage to visit Tomas and his friends.
5. My kiddos are tough. While we play with the train sets little boys twice their age and size usually show up to do the same and they always try to push my girls around. They hold their ground without pushing back. I am a very proud momma. We need more strong women in this world.
6.I've recently realized the power of phrasing things the right way. For instance, "Madeleine you need to eat your fruit." gets an emphatic, "NOOOOO". However, "Madeleine if you eat your chicken I'll let you have some fruit." gets an "OH YAY MOMMY." I'm hoping I can use this power on Kyle, "Babe if you do the dishes I'll let you sweep the floor!" Brilliant.
7. I'm trying to figure out ways to involve my two year old in Advent this year. I'm praying I come up with something soon... my theology and catechetics degrees should be able to help out with this. I mean, hopefully that knowledge isn't stored in the part of my brain that was wiped out when I gave birth and replaced with Goodnight Moon and every book by Sandra Boynton. Actually, I think that was the "math" and "reasonable hormonal responses" sections so I think we should be good. Advent here we come!
See more at http://www.conversiondiary.com/
2. Right now Madeleine is playing with her ABC puzzle, Juliette has climbed up the couch and is leaning over the box with their cardboard blocks in it, removing them one by one and laughing/grunting happily. (Not that I just put them all back in there five minutes ago or anything. Really, that was just a stupid move on my part.) Madeleine looks over periodically, shakes her head, and says, "No Ju-etch. No baby."
3. Madeleine is now interested in TOYS. This means while we shop she reaches over and puts something she wants in the cart. If I take it out, she tells me, "No. Madeleine like (insert toy/movie/sock here)." This makes check out interesting. She places the item on the belt and I stealthily signal to the check out person that said item will not be going home with us. I distract Madeleine with my awesome dance skills or something equally embarrassing to us all and we get out of the store without incident. I know I could explain it to her and just tell her no from the beginning but I'm tired and just want to shop without the screaming. My system works for now.
4. With her new found interest in TOYS, Madeleine requests on a daily basis to go to Toys R Us to play with the trains. She hasn't figured out yet that we can actually buy stuff there so I'm usually good with it. She also has no idea that SANTA is getting her a wooden train set for Christmas! Until then we are making our weekly pilgrimage to visit Tomas and his friends.
5. My kiddos are tough. While we play with the train sets little boys twice their age and size usually show up to do the same and they always try to push my girls around. They hold their ground without pushing back. I am a very proud momma. We need more strong women in this world.
6.I've recently realized the power of phrasing things the right way. For instance, "Madeleine you need to eat your fruit." gets an emphatic, "NOOOOO". However, "Madeleine if you eat your chicken I'll let you have some fruit." gets an "OH YAY MOMMY." I'm hoping I can use this power on Kyle, "Babe if you do the dishes I'll let you sweep the floor!" Brilliant.
7. I'm trying to figure out ways to involve my two year old in Advent this year. I'm praying I come up with something soon... my theology and catechetics degrees should be able to help out with this. I mean, hopefully that knowledge isn't stored in the part of my brain that was wiped out when I gave birth and replaced with Goodnight Moon and every book by Sandra Boynton. Actually, I think that was the "math" and "reasonable hormonal responses" sections so I think we should be good. Advent here we come!
See more at http://www.conversiondiary.com/
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Quick note before night night
Well it is 1:00 AM and I just got Juliette to bed. I've noticed that when kids are over tired one of two things happen. 1. They go to bed early. (this option is ideal) 2. They are so tired they cannot sleep and they stay up crying until mommy is ready to cry too.
Luckily tonight there was less of the crying, just a lot of snuggling, which I am completely fine with. But the question is, why are my kiddos so tired?
Well, you heard about the four day weekend at Grandmom and Granddad's in Connecticut last weekend. Well, this weekend Grandmommy came up from Houston!
It has been a wonderful weekend and I will post more about it later but I am exhausted and I am determined to make that extra hour of sleep we get tonight count! But really, I can't go too long without writing in my blog.
So tomorrow, long post and pictures. Enjoy your extra hour of sleep world!
Luckily tonight there was less of the crying, just a lot of snuggling, which I am completely fine with. But the question is, why are my kiddos so tired?
Well, you heard about the four day weekend at Grandmom and Granddad's in Connecticut last weekend. Well, this weekend Grandmommy came up from Houston!
It has been a wonderful weekend and I will post more about it later but I am exhausted and I am determined to make that extra hour of sleep we get tonight count! But really, I can't go too long without writing in my blog.
So tomorrow, long post and pictures. Enjoy your extra hour of sleep world!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
What mass is like with kids
Back before I had kids I would see the two year old climbing all over the pew and think to myself, "Horrors! Surely my children will never do such a thing!" or something like that. That makes it sound like I think in "British"... normally my mind is not that proper.
Nowadays when I see a toddler standing on a pew who isn't pelting other parishioners with hymnals I wonder what they have done to get their kid to behave so nicely.
Our real problem is that because of Kyle's schedule we have to go to either the 4:30 Saturday or the 5:00 Sunday mass and that means that we don't even TRY to get the kids down for their naps. The only thing worse than a baby who has not napped is a baby who was from her crib untimely ripped. (five points to anyone who gets the reference.)
So we usually roll into mass about 2 minutes late. We like less that a mile from our parish but even if we left our house at about a half hour before we had to be there we would probably still end up late. I'm convinced our neighborhood has a Bermuda Triangle thing going on.
And of course, because this is Massachusetts and everyone talks "wicked fast" the priest is just about to begin the Gospel.
Madeleine genuflects before entering the pew and I am proud. Super proud. I'm beaming. We sit down, she sits and folds her hands and goes, "Jesus. Hi. Amen." I'm not smiling like the Cheshire Cat. SO CUTE!
Kyle usually starts off holding Juliette and I am trying to explain what is happening in the mass to Madeleine. Everything is quiet for a minute or two. Soon enough however Juliette is squealing so loud I'm convinced no one can hear the lector and Madeleine is crawling under the pew back and forth transporting the hymnals.
Kyle hands Juliette to me. The squealing gets louder. He tried to pick up Madeleine who now is making a fort out of said hymnals. He picks her up and tells her it is time to pray.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kyle heads to the back of the church with her where there is no cry room. She is told she has lost her cookie. I hear her NOOOOOOOOs tapering off as he distracts her. Usually she is trying to wash her hands in the holy water font. I'm down with that.
Meanwhile Juliette realizes that I am holding her but she is not nursing. That won't do. She is pulling at my shirts and head butting me in the chest. Kyle comes back just in time. Madeleine says, "HI MOM! HI BABY!" I hand Juliette over to him who starts teething on his shoulder. Madeleine sits in the pew for about a minute. Then she puts down the foot rest, stands on it, and starts leaning forward into the pew in front of us. Her butt is in the air and she cannot get down.
As I am getting her down Kyle is distracting Juliette with the hymnals. He hands her one and she immediately throws it on the floor and reaches for the next because that is just the stage she is in. Madeleine picks up the hymnal, examines it, and starts pointing and loudly saying, "Jesus mommy! Jesus mommy!"
Luckily for us they are normal very good during, as Madeleine calls it, the "HI JESUS" part. The point where I point up at the Eucharist being held in the hands of the priest and tell Madeleine, "There is Jesus." To which she usually says, in a whisper, "Hi Jesus."
On the way back from communion there are people pointing and smiling at them. Those people have clearly not heard what has been going on in the back of the church.
We get back to our seats and without fail one of us has to take one of them to the back of the church again. This is made particularly tricky if we have arrived late and the person at the end of the row has refused to move in so we were stuck in the middle. Usually by the end of mass they have let us out and back in again so many times that my guess is no "isle seat" is worth that amount of trouble. Or they have peaced out right after communion. Once again, this is Massachusetts.
We stay until the priest has processed back up the isle and head out. We stop at the statue of Mary in front of the church because Madeleine loves Jesus Mommy Hail Mary. It hasn't been a peaceful experience and I didn't have much time for contemplation. However I have the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity inside of me so I know that I am the closest I can possibly be to God.
Being a mom doesn't give a lot of time from prayer but it provides a lot of opportunities to grow in holiness.... even though by the end of mass I am usually more tired then when I hit the gym.
Even through their craziness I see the fruits of taking my children to mass in my day to day life, especially in how Madeleine has grown in her prayer life. And she is only two! It's hard but I certainly wouldn't do it any other way. While my children are young I'll have to remember that even though I don't get long peaceful stretches for prayer that God is still working within me through my husband and children. Putting the needs of my children before my own is part of my vocation and it's by living my vocation in even the smallest details that I will grow closer to God. Outside of receiving the Eucharist nothing revitalizes my faith like loving my family because they are my gift from God and my path to Him as well.
I guess what I am saying is that I will take my time alone with God whenever I can get it, those are essential to restore me for day to day life. However since those moments can be hard to come by I am slowly learning how to make the little moments of life a prayer as well. Dishes, laundry, even peeling Madeleine off of the pew during mass. I'm just thankful for the richness of our faith, the goodness of God, and the vocation of being a wife and mother. Especially to such a holy man and such sweet little girls.
Nowadays when I see a toddler standing on a pew who isn't pelting other parishioners with hymnals I wonder what they have done to get their kid to behave so nicely.
Our real problem is that because of Kyle's schedule we have to go to either the 4:30 Saturday or the 5:00 Sunday mass and that means that we don't even TRY to get the kids down for their naps. The only thing worse than a baby who has not napped is a baby who was from her crib untimely ripped. (five points to anyone who gets the reference.)
So we usually roll into mass about 2 minutes late. We like less that a mile from our parish but even if we left our house at about a half hour before we had to be there we would probably still end up late. I'm convinced our neighborhood has a Bermuda Triangle thing going on.
And of course, because this is Massachusetts and everyone talks "wicked fast" the priest is just about to begin the Gospel.
Madeleine genuflects before entering the pew and I am proud. Super proud. I'm beaming. We sit down, she sits and folds her hands and goes, "Jesus. Hi. Amen." I'm not smiling like the Cheshire Cat. SO CUTE!
Kyle usually starts off holding Juliette and I am trying to explain what is happening in the mass to Madeleine. Everything is quiet for a minute or two. Soon enough however Juliette is squealing so loud I'm convinced no one can hear the lector and Madeleine is crawling under the pew back and forth transporting the hymnals.
Kyle hands Juliette to me. The squealing gets louder. He tried to pick up Madeleine who now is making a fort out of said hymnals. He picks her up and tells her it is time to pray.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kyle heads to the back of the church with her where there is no cry room. She is told she has lost her cookie. I hear her NOOOOOOOOs tapering off as he distracts her. Usually she is trying to wash her hands in the holy water font. I'm down with that.
Meanwhile Juliette realizes that I am holding her but she is not nursing. That won't do. She is pulling at my shirts and head butting me in the chest. Kyle comes back just in time. Madeleine says, "HI MOM! HI BABY!" I hand Juliette over to him who starts teething on his shoulder. Madeleine sits in the pew for about a minute. Then she puts down the foot rest, stands on it, and starts leaning forward into the pew in front of us. Her butt is in the air and she cannot get down.
As I am getting her down Kyle is distracting Juliette with the hymnals. He hands her one and she immediately throws it on the floor and reaches for the next because that is just the stage she is in. Madeleine picks up the hymnal, examines it, and starts pointing and loudly saying, "Jesus mommy! Jesus mommy!"
Luckily for us they are normal very good during, as Madeleine calls it, the "HI JESUS" part. The point where I point up at the Eucharist being held in the hands of the priest and tell Madeleine, "There is Jesus." To which she usually says, in a whisper, "Hi Jesus."
On the way back from communion there are people pointing and smiling at them. Those people have clearly not heard what has been going on in the back of the church.
We get back to our seats and without fail one of us has to take one of them to the back of the church again. This is made particularly tricky if we have arrived late and the person at the end of the row has refused to move in so we were stuck in the middle. Usually by the end of mass they have let us out and back in again so many times that my guess is no "isle seat" is worth that amount of trouble. Or they have peaced out right after communion. Once again, this is Massachusetts.
We stay until the priest has processed back up the isle and head out. We stop at the statue of Mary in front of the church because Madeleine loves Jesus Mommy Hail Mary. It hasn't been a peaceful experience and I didn't have much time for contemplation. However I have the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity inside of me so I know that I am the closest I can possibly be to God.
Being a mom doesn't give a lot of time from prayer but it provides a lot of opportunities to grow in holiness.... even though by the end of mass I am usually more tired then when I hit the gym.
Even through their craziness I see the fruits of taking my children to mass in my day to day life, especially in how Madeleine has grown in her prayer life. And she is only two! It's hard but I certainly wouldn't do it any other way. While my children are young I'll have to remember that even though I don't get long peaceful stretches for prayer that God is still working within me through my husband and children. Putting the needs of my children before my own is part of my vocation and it's by living my vocation in even the smallest details that I will grow closer to God. Outside of receiving the Eucharist nothing revitalizes my faith like loving my family because they are my gift from God and my path to Him as well.
I guess what I am saying is that I will take my time alone with God whenever I can get it, those are essential to restore me for day to day life. However since those moments can be hard to come by I am slowly learning how to make the little moments of life a prayer as well. Dishes, laundry, even peeling Madeleine off of the pew during mass. I'm just thankful for the richness of our faith, the goodness of God, and the vocation of being a wife and mother. Especially to such a holy man and such sweet little girls.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Power outages and other fun adventures
Tropical Storm Irene hit New England. I'll be honest, I wanted to smack every idiot with a status saying something along the lines of "Come on Irene" or "Bring it on Irene". Tropical storms are nothing to be messed with.
Driving around my parent's neighborhood proved that. There was a tree blocking the street going one direction, a tree on a power line blocking another way, and only one way out. And then once you got out of the neighborhood there were more and more trees sitting on power lines. Tropical storms are dangerous. There are tons of people with damaged homes, house fires, no power for at least a week, and then there are the idiots talking about how awesome it is. Those people are lacking a compassion gene.
I was in Connecticut during the storm to get help with the kiddos because Kyle was stuck at the airport all weekend. We lost power early Sunday and it will be out for days. I came back to Massachusetts this afternoon because Kyle was home and our power was back on, but I feel terrible for my parents. They are losing hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of food, their lawn is trashed, they can't flush their toilets, and they have to other people's houses to shower. Luckily, they are far better off than some people.
We spent the day playing card games in the glow of the flashlights (I dominated) and ate whatever was not in the fridge. Madeleine was horribly confused by the power outage and kept asking for the lights.
And Madeleine has started biting. She bit my arm while sitting on my lap and so I put her in time out. She finally said, "I sorry!" so I scooped her up, told her not to bite again, and hugged her. But we may have to play this daily from now on.
The next two days are Kyle's weekend and so we will be restocking our fridge... the one I just stocked last week. But in all honesty I am just so glad that our home is okay, we are okay, and all the people we love are as well. It could have been a lot worse.
And I am also thankful for the little things like potties that flush and showers that run. And the internet. And that the DVR didn't miss any episodes of CSI Miami. Amen.
Driving around my parent's neighborhood proved that. There was a tree blocking the street going one direction, a tree on a power line blocking another way, and only one way out. And then once you got out of the neighborhood there were more and more trees sitting on power lines. Tropical storms are dangerous. There are tons of people with damaged homes, house fires, no power for at least a week, and then there are the idiots talking about how awesome it is. Those people are lacking a compassion gene.
I was in Connecticut during the storm to get help with the kiddos because Kyle was stuck at the airport all weekend. We lost power early Sunday and it will be out for days. I came back to Massachusetts this afternoon because Kyle was home and our power was back on, but I feel terrible for my parents. They are losing hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of food, their lawn is trashed, they can't flush their toilets, and they have to other people's houses to shower. Luckily, they are far better off than some people.
We spent the day playing card games in the glow of the flashlights (I dominated) and ate whatever was not in the fridge. Madeleine was horribly confused by the power outage and kept asking for the lights.
And Madeleine has started biting. She bit my arm while sitting on my lap and so I put her in time out. She finally said, "I sorry!" so I scooped her up, told her not to bite again, and hugged her. But we may have to play this daily from now on.
The next two days are Kyle's weekend and so we will be restocking our fridge... the one I just stocked last week. But in all honesty I am just so glad that our home is okay, we are okay, and all the people we love are as well. It could have been a lot worse.
And I am also thankful for the little things like potties that flush and showers that run. And the internet. And that the DVR didn't miss any episodes of CSI Miami. Amen.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
NFP in real life
I struggle a lot with Natural Family Planning. Mostly because if situations were perfect I would live in a perpetual state of getting pregnant and popping out babies. I'm not really big on the pregnant part but I am HUGE on the baby part. I get the baby itch soon after they are born (well so far) and then Kyle and I take time to discern and pray before having another.
Right now we are trying to avoid but we spend a lot of time fearing pregnancy. Not because of how we would handle it (I don't want to toot my own horn but I am totally a natural at this whole "being a mom" thing and could easily handle another) but because of what people might think. Sure, we have some friends that wonder why we aren't pregnant again already, God bless them, but we know that there would be many others, family, friends, random people in the grocery store, that would completely disapprove.
We are not avoiding because of them. We are avoiding because of finances and because of my health. As far as the first goes, soon enough Kyle will be an employee of Southwest Airlines, his pay will go up, and we will be able to afford another. I mean, we cloth diaper so that wouldn't cost anything. We nurse, so no money for food. If it's a girl we'd have all the clothes we need and with a boy he would get more spoiled that an heir to the throne in Britain so that's a non issue as well. We have car seats, strollers, and cribs as well. We would need very little. The big issues for us are hospital bills, time off of work, etc. I'd also really like to wait until we wouldn't have three in college at one time.
My health is the real issue. I've had major issues with both of my last two pregnancies (and the ectopic before that as well) and so I need to be stronger so I can be a good mommy to both my babies on the outside and the one on the inside. Last time I barely had the strength to get off the couch many days and I when I get pregnant again I would like to be able to be the mommy they have now, just rounder.
I don't buy into waiting because it's better for my first two girls. They are each other's best friends and another baby would only add to their joy. If I want alone time with any of my kids, Kyle gladly babysits so I can have that special mommy and me time. I don't care about fancy vacations and having all sorts of "me time". That could never bring my husband and I more joy than another baby. Even Kyle, who was terrified of kids at first cannot wait until we feel ready to add to our family. Right now we avoid and take each month to pray and discern. We believe that by using Natural Family Planning we are allowing God to be the true head of our family and know what is best for us. If we get pregnant we pray that the people we know will be excited and supportive because as I said before, pregnancy is hard enough for me.
When I think of having a third child I don't really worry about many of the things I think most people do. What I do worry about is what it would be like to wait too long, to have another ectopic pregnancy, to increase my chance of miscarriage, and to live with the regret of not having been open to all God could have given to my family through another child. I think of the names we have picked out for our future babies, of the moment when I first see the face that goes with that name and hold my child for the first time. I think of all God could do through that child and how that child could be a light in a world that could use a lot more light. Nothing else seems important after that
Right now we are trying to avoid but we spend a lot of time fearing pregnancy. Not because of how we would handle it (I don't want to toot my own horn but I am totally a natural at this whole "being a mom" thing and could easily handle another) but because of what people might think. Sure, we have some friends that wonder why we aren't pregnant again already, God bless them, but we know that there would be many others, family, friends, random people in the grocery store, that would completely disapprove.
We are not avoiding because of them. We are avoiding because of finances and because of my health. As far as the first goes, soon enough Kyle will be an employee of Southwest Airlines, his pay will go up, and we will be able to afford another. I mean, we cloth diaper so that wouldn't cost anything. We nurse, so no money for food. If it's a girl we'd have all the clothes we need and with a boy he would get more spoiled that an heir to the throne in Britain so that's a non issue as well. We have car seats, strollers, and cribs as well. We would need very little. The big issues for us are hospital bills, time off of work, etc. I'd also really like to wait until we wouldn't have three in college at one time.
My health is the real issue. I've had major issues with both of my last two pregnancies (and the ectopic before that as well) and so I need to be stronger so I can be a good mommy to both my babies on the outside and the one on the inside. Last time I barely had the strength to get off the couch many days and I when I get pregnant again I would like to be able to be the mommy they have now, just rounder.
I don't buy into waiting because it's better for my first two girls. They are each other's best friends and another baby would only add to their joy. If I want alone time with any of my kids, Kyle gladly babysits so I can have that special mommy and me time. I don't care about fancy vacations and having all sorts of "me time". That could never bring my husband and I more joy than another baby. Even Kyle, who was terrified of kids at first cannot wait until we feel ready to add to our family. Right now we avoid and take each month to pray and discern. We believe that by using Natural Family Planning we are allowing God to be the true head of our family and know what is best for us. If we get pregnant we pray that the people we know will be excited and supportive because as I said before, pregnancy is hard enough for me.
When I think of having a third child I don't really worry about many of the things I think most people do. What I do worry about is what it would be like to wait too long, to have another ectopic pregnancy, to increase my chance of miscarriage, and to live with the regret of not having been open to all God could have given to my family through another child. I think of the names we have picked out for our future babies, of the moment when I first see the face that goes with that name and hold my child for the first time. I think of all God could do through that child and how that child could be a light in a world that could use a lot more light. Nothing else seems important after that
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
In the Behr cave... or wherever it is that Behrs live
So it's been a while since I've done a post about daily life with the baby Behrs and since I am apparently an insomniac all of a sudden now seems as good of a time as ever.
My day usually begins around 10 am. Go ahead, be jealous of me. Just know that this means that my kids are up until at least 10 pm every night. With Kyle's schedule it just works best for me so you'll just have to trust that it's awesome and that it won't permanently damage them or cause them to be criminals by kindergarten. I wake up to Juliette pouncing on top of me excitedly. I generally have only a vague recollection as to how she ended up in our bed instead of the crib but I nurse her and after a while she's done and ready to dive head first off the side of the bed looking for adventure.
I catch her and carry her to Madeleine's crib and place her next to her sister. Madeleine wakes up, wraps her arms around Juliette, and says "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABY!" sometimes tenderly and sometimes with a terrifying amount of enthusiasm. I let them play for a few minutes, start the coffee, and check my email. It's about at this point that the girls realize they are trapped inside the crib, grow restless, and Madeleine tries to remedy the situation but yelling, "MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM" and throwing things out of her crib in protest. I take them out, put them on the floor, and Madeleine and Juliette take off as startling speeds. Madeleine, to see if breakfast is ready and Juliette, to see if there are any small objects she can shove in her mouth before I catch her.
A typical scene is myself, seated, trying to inspire the girls to sit still and join me for story time. Madeleine is in kitten heels, underwear for a necklace, and a purse, pushing Bitty Baby in the doll stroller while Juliette crawls across the room with much determination making sounds that sometimes scare people that don't spend much time with us and don't realize that they come from her. It's this deep growling noise. It's why we call her dinosaur.
Obviously when I start cooking or cleaning that's when they want my attention. Demand my attention. Their very survival depends on my attention. Juliette wants to eat again and Madeleine wants to read or go out. The morning goes on, Kyle gets home around 2:30. The girls are winding down for naps and Kyle wonders why I look so frazzled when they are so relatively calm. All I want to do is sit on the couch while they sleep and spend some time with my good friend Horatio Caine and the CSI team from Miami. Kyle has grand visions of driving the minivan up a mountain. A mountain. With two kids in the back for hours. Awesome plan dude.
I can usually talk Kyle down and get him to relax with me and before we know it the peace we had just begun to enjoy is over and the kids are SO HAPPY TO SEE US. But wait, all of the chores we promised we'd do today are still left undone. No matter! We'll totally clean the car out tomorrow! (It's been months)
Kyle goes to bed around 7:00 and after they finish crying because daddy DARED to leave them to go to sleep, the girls look at me expectantly. GIRL TIME! That's usually when we jet off to Walmart to grab the groceries. Everyone is happy until about the time we reach check out and Juliette starts screaming and Madeleine is trying to shoplift a candy bar and I look exhausted and disheveled as a teenage boy "Mam"s me and I leave the store hurriedly while disapproving older couples look on like their kids NEVER cried in stores. We get home and put away the groceries, play, read, and then (horrors!) I let Madeleine cuddle up to me and watch a show for a few minutes. She starts to conk out, we say our prayers (she loves praying and going to church), get tucked into the crib with our favorite Monkey, and fall quickly to sleep. It's about 10:15 and Juliette realizes that she has me ALL. TO. HERSELF. She can't decide what she wants to do first! Nurse on the left side? Nurse on the right side?
It's ten minutes later and Juliette has passed out drinking yet again. I tuck her into the other crib. I put away the dishes, maybe hang the cloth diapers to dry overnight, perhaps even shower, and finally settle down in front of the TV to make my mind stop. I climb into bed around one thanking God for another wonderful day. My husband and my girls are healthy and thriving and adore me to pieces as I them. I haven't discovered a cure for cancer or fought crime like Horatio but I feel fulfilled.
This is just a general overview of a typical day of the week. We learn, we explore, we eat, we do all the normal things that normal moms do with their kids. As they grow older I will add more and more structure to our days so as to build a foundation for homeschooling. For now though I am trying to enjoy the crud out of them because I hear they don't stay this little forever.
My day usually begins around 10 am. Go ahead, be jealous of me. Just know that this means that my kids are up until at least 10 pm every night. With Kyle's schedule it just works best for me so you'll just have to trust that it's awesome and that it won't permanently damage them or cause them to be criminals by kindergarten. I wake up to Juliette pouncing on top of me excitedly. I generally have only a vague recollection as to how she ended up in our bed instead of the crib but I nurse her and after a while she's done and ready to dive head first off the side of the bed looking for adventure.
I catch her and carry her to Madeleine's crib and place her next to her sister. Madeleine wakes up, wraps her arms around Juliette, and says "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABY!" sometimes tenderly and sometimes with a terrifying amount of enthusiasm. I let them play for a few minutes, start the coffee, and check my email. It's about at this point that the girls realize they are trapped inside the crib, grow restless, and Madeleine tries to remedy the situation but yelling, "MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM" and throwing things out of her crib in protest. I take them out, put them on the floor, and Madeleine and Juliette take off as startling speeds. Madeleine, to see if breakfast is ready and Juliette, to see if there are any small objects she can shove in her mouth before I catch her.
A typical scene is myself, seated, trying to inspire the girls to sit still and join me for story time. Madeleine is in kitten heels, underwear for a necklace, and a purse, pushing Bitty Baby in the doll stroller while Juliette crawls across the room with much determination making sounds that sometimes scare people that don't spend much time with us and don't realize that they come from her. It's this deep growling noise. It's why we call her dinosaur.
Obviously when I start cooking or cleaning that's when they want my attention. Demand my attention. Their very survival depends on my attention. Juliette wants to eat again and Madeleine wants to read or go out. The morning goes on, Kyle gets home around 2:30. The girls are winding down for naps and Kyle wonders why I look so frazzled when they are so relatively calm. All I want to do is sit on the couch while they sleep and spend some time with my good friend Horatio Caine and the CSI team from Miami. Kyle has grand visions of driving the minivan up a mountain. A mountain. With two kids in the back for hours. Awesome plan dude.
I can usually talk Kyle down and get him to relax with me and before we know it the peace we had just begun to enjoy is over and the kids are SO HAPPY TO SEE US. But wait, all of the chores we promised we'd do today are still left undone. No matter! We'll totally clean the car out tomorrow! (It's been months)
Kyle goes to bed around 7:00 and after they finish crying because daddy DARED to leave them to go to sleep, the girls look at me expectantly. GIRL TIME! That's usually when we jet off to Walmart to grab the groceries. Everyone is happy until about the time we reach check out and Juliette starts screaming and Madeleine is trying to shoplift a candy bar and I look exhausted and disheveled as a teenage boy "Mam"s me and I leave the store hurriedly while disapproving older couples look on like their kids NEVER cried in stores. We get home and put away the groceries, play, read, and then (horrors!) I let Madeleine cuddle up to me and watch a show for a few minutes. She starts to conk out, we say our prayers (she loves praying and going to church), get tucked into the crib with our favorite Monkey, and fall quickly to sleep. It's about 10:15 and Juliette realizes that she has me ALL. TO. HERSELF. She can't decide what she wants to do first! Nurse on the left side? Nurse on the right side?
It's ten minutes later and Juliette has passed out drinking yet again. I tuck her into the other crib. I put away the dishes, maybe hang the cloth diapers to dry overnight, perhaps even shower, and finally settle down in front of the TV to make my mind stop. I climb into bed around one thanking God for another wonderful day. My husband and my girls are healthy and thriving and adore me to pieces as I them. I haven't discovered a cure for cancer or fought crime like Horatio but I feel fulfilled.
This is just a general overview of a typical day of the week. We learn, we explore, we eat, we do all the normal things that normal moms do with their kids. As they grow older I will add more and more structure to our days so as to build a foundation for homeschooling. For now though I am trying to enjoy the crud out of them because I hear they don't stay this little forever.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Bring back the 'roids!
Well, after a bit of a break I am coming back to the world of blogging. Since the end of May my life has been one non stop event. From our vacation to Houston and New Orleans, to my sister's wedding, to Hannah's graduation, Madeleine's second birthday, and my gallbladder surgery I EARNED that giant bottle of vodka I purchased earlier today. Next up in the house of Behr, the four year anniversary of the momma and the poppa. We've got some hot plans involving Harry Potter and buttered popcorn.
Today the Behrs invaded Boston. We started in the North End and ate our way to Quincy (pronounced Quin-zee) Market. You'd thought I'd have earned my lesson after the great fondue debaucle of last night but APPARENTLY my tummy does not expand infinitely. For shame though because the gelato we passed on our way back to the car looked ah-mazing.
We are spending the night at home watching the All Star game. Kyle is rooting for the National League and I am, of course, rooting for the American League. It's not looking good for me. I love the American League. I love the designated hitter and home runs. It may be controversial but what the heck. I say BRING BACK THE 'ROIDS! Baseball is just way more fun on steroids.
For the players.
Not me.
The girls are fantastic. Madeleine loves playing outside, washing her hands, cleaning, reading books, dancing, and playing with her baby doll. Her favorite person in the whole world is Juliette with Kyle and I coming in close behind. Madeleine wakes up every morning asking for her baby. The way she loves her makes my heart melt.
Juliette is sitting up, almost crawling, and an all around busy girl. If something small is on the floor she will find it and she will eat it. My life is an endless cycle of sweeping, picking up small objects, and fishing pieces of paper our of her toothless mouth. She is just an absolute joy and I love seeing her little personality develop.
As for Kyle and myself, Kyle's career is going great. They are really grooming him for management right now. He is also just so amazing with our girls. We are blessed to have him.
I've been super busy but great as well. My surgery went well and I am excited to be able to eat all of the things I had to give up. I'm also looking forward to the wedding of my best friend, Theresa, in August. I'm the matron of honor.
Pictures to come. Stay tuned!
Today the Behrs invaded Boston. We started in the North End and ate our way to Quincy (pronounced Quin-zee) Market. You'd thought I'd have earned my lesson after the great fondue debaucle of last night but APPARENTLY my tummy does not expand infinitely. For shame though because the gelato we passed on our way back to the car looked ah-mazing.
We are spending the night at home watching the All Star game. Kyle is rooting for the National League and I am, of course, rooting for the American League. It's not looking good for me. I love the American League. I love the designated hitter and home runs. It may be controversial but what the heck. I say BRING BACK THE 'ROIDS! Baseball is just way more fun on steroids.
For the players.
Not me.
The girls are fantastic. Madeleine loves playing outside, washing her hands, cleaning, reading books, dancing, and playing with her baby doll. Her favorite person in the whole world is Juliette with Kyle and I coming in close behind. Madeleine wakes up every morning asking for her baby. The way she loves her makes my heart melt.
Juliette is sitting up, almost crawling, and an all around busy girl. If something small is on the floor she will find it and she will eat it. My life is an endless cycle of sweeping, picking up small objects, and fishing pieces of paper our of her toothless mouth. She is just an absolute joy and I love seeing her little personality develop.
As for Kyle and myself, Kyle's career is going great. They are really grooming him for management right now. He is also just so amazing with our girls. We are blessed to have him.
I've been super busy but great as well. My surgery went well and I am excited to be able to eat all of the things I had to give up. I'm also looking forward to the wedding of my best friend, Theresa, in August. I'm the matron of honor.
Pictures to come. Stay tuned!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
AHHHHHHH USA IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
USA! USA! USA!
I'll never forget 9/11. I was in gym class when I heard the news. I was tying my shoes. I didn't understand. It didn't make sense. It was like I had left my body and I was watching from the outside. All I could think about was my Aunt. I knew she worked there sometimes. Was she okay? I could barely remember my own name. Someone had to tie my shoe for me. I had to lie down.
English class watching the towers fall. It still wasn't real. I couldn't cry I just sat there. Staring. Hoping I would wake up. How could this happen. Why? I just don't understand. Stanizzi came over and gave me a hug. I finally let it all go. I needed to call my mom. Had she heard from Aunt Gayle?
Outside with Ally. Sitting on the curb. Waiting for my mom. Aunt Gayle is okay. I can see smoke. How did it get to my town? A plane went down in DC and PA and I can't take anymore. Ally and I sobbed into each other's arms and just talked about how scared we felt.
I remember all the prayer in the weeks after. We became a nation of prayer once again. And though it all, we were proud to be American. Nothing else mattered. Not race or religion. We were united in our grief and there was an outpouring of love for the victims.
And now justice has been served. The families of those lost that day... I can't imagine. I can't imagine how I would feel if I had lost someone that day.
Tonight, I'm having a drink to the TROOPS, to the victims of 9/11, to George W Bush, to those who lost their lives trying to find him, and for the conversion of Osama's soul. God's outside of time, our prayers can still work for him!
Also, prayers that this doesn't get Obama another 4 years. If you rewatch his speech and drink every time he says "I" you'd be totally sloshed. I want to know what, exactly, he thinks he did.
Thank you to all our service men and women, especially Juliette's godfather Edward Houser. We love you! Come back safely!
I'll never forget 9/11. I was in gym class when I heard the news. I was tying my shoes. I didn't understand. It didn't make sense. It was like I had left my body and I was watching from the outside. All I could think about was my Aunt. I knew she worked there sometimes. Was she okay? I could barely remember my own name. Someone had to tie my shoe for me. I had to lie down.
English class watching the towers fall. It still wasn't real. I couldn't cry I just sat there. Staring. Hoping I would wake up. How could this happen. Why? I just don't understand. Stanizzi came over and gave me a hug. I finally let it all go. I needed to call my mom. Had she heard from Aunt Gayle?
Outside with Ally. Sitting on the curb. Waiting for my mom. Aunt Gayle is okay. I can see smoke. How did it get to my town? A plane went down in DC and PA and I can't take anymore. Ally and I sobbed into each other's arms and just talked about how scared we felt.
I remember all the prayer in the weeks after. We became a nation of prayer once again. And though it all, we were proud to be American. Nothing else mattered. Not race or religion. We were united in our grief and there was an outpouring of love for the victims.
And now justice has been served. The families of those lost that day... I can't imagine. I can't imagine how I would feel if I had lost someone that day.
Tonight, I'm having a drink to the TROOPS, to the victims of 9/11, to George W Bush, to those who lost their lives trying to find him, and for the conversion of Osama's soul. God's outside of time, our prayers can still work for him!
Also, prayers that this doesn't get Obama another 4 years. If you rewatch his speech and drink every time he says "I" you'd be totally sloshed. I want to know what, exactly, he thinks he did.
Thank you to all our service men and women, especially Juliette's godfather Edward Houser. We love you! Come back safely!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Jesus reads my blog
So I wrote a post last night about taking the struggles of day to day motherhood as an oppurtunity for holiness and I'm not saying that God reads my blog or anything but... well yes I am saying that. Because last night definitely got me some time off of purgatory. Madeleine was up til 1:00 am, and then again every so often, and then for good at 6:00. Juliette was so stuffed up that she was making terrible noises in her sleep and I was up watching to make sure she was breathing. This morning I was past my usual level of delirium and all four of us took off to the doctors together. Nothing except for a bad virus, as I thought, but a sleepless Sarah is a paranoid Sarah so it was worth checking out.
We did learn during my visit that I have asthma? How has no one figured this out before? Like when I was having intense breathing issues during pregnancy?
Which brings me to another point. You may love your perfume or cologne but be aware, it keeps some of us out there from being able to breathe. And we like breathing. So please, wear it but don't bathe in it. How about a nice shower instead?
Anyway, we are back at the house, I am caffinated up, and the girls are ready to play. I am looking forward to their bedtime so I can kick back to a CSI Miami. I like to dance around the living room during the theme song going, "NAAA NAAA NAAAAAAAAA! I have sunglasses! I can has evidence! You can has jail time! SUUUUUUNNNNNGLASSES!!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Oh Horatio!
Well as I type Madeleine is trying to take her pants off... again. And "redecorate" the living room... again. So I don't think typing is in the best interest, at least if I want a clean house and a clothed toddler.
We did learn during my visit that I have asthma? How has no one figured this out before? Like when I was having intense breathing issues during pregnancy?
Which brings me to another point. You may love your perfume or cologne but be aware, it keeps some of us out there from being able to breathe. And we like breathing. So please, wear it but don't bathe in it. How about a nice shower instead?
Anyway, we are back at the house, I am caffinated up, and the girls are ready to play. I am looking forward to their bedtime so I can kick back to a CSI Miami. I like to dance around the living room during the theme song going, "NAAA NAAA NAAAAAAAAA! I have sunglasses! I can has evidence! You can has jail time! SUUUUUUNNNNNGLASSES!!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Oh Horatio!
Well as I type Madeleine is trying to take her pants off... again. And "redecorate" the living room... again. So I don't think typing is in the best interest, at least if I want a clean house and a clothed toddler.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Babies, Babies, Babies oh
There are many days that go by when I have to wonder, why did God trust me to be a mother. I mean, I'm by far not the worst person he could have blessed with children but sometimes I feel wildly inadequate for the vocation I was given.
Being a mom causes me to evaluate myself often and I'm not the type of person who does well looking at her flaws. I'm extremely scrupulous and I beat myself up over everything so a lot of times I try to avoid it. Not the way to get to heaven but it was the only way I found to avoid those nasty tummy aches I got when I realized just how sinful I am and how undeserving I am of God's love and mercy.
Still, God chose to bless me with an amazing husband and two beautiful baby girls. And as I said, being a mom means having to be constantly trying to improve yourself so you can do a better job for your kids. And I suppose that right there is what forces me to do it. I have to do it for my kids and I would do anything for them. Examining my sinfulness becomes something that I want to do. For them. With this new revelation I've found that I spend less time beating myself up over every mistake I make. It's not because I care less but because I can't afford to take time out of loving them to nurture my self pity.
I can still try to atone for my sins but in a much more productive way. Offering up those late nights, the diapers that get all over everything, the tantrums, and the outfits covered in vomit. Even something as small as the dishes becomes a sacrifice. I can do the dishes, which I despise, remembering how I am doing it to serve God and my family. It's not fun but it's infinitely more bearable. I put a placard by my sick with the quote from Mother Theresa that says, "Do small things with great love." because I know that it what my vocation is all about. It is the small things of day to day life that will get me to heaven despite my sinfulness. I'm not perfect but this vocation is giving me so many ways to become like Our Lady and she was.
Tonight my little buddy is sitting on my lap. I would love to be sleeping right now but she wants to snuggle and just be with me. It won't be this way forever, someday she'll be too cool for me, then in college, then married or a nun, and I won't be able to have her sit on my lap and just be. So as much as I would love to sleep, I am enjoying this time.
When I get too down on myself I have to remember the way she loves me. I may not be a perfect mother but my child adores me. She thinks that I am. She doesn't know that I can't sew or sing but she doesn't care. All she cares about is that I love her and that I take care of her, which I do. There is no greater proof to me that I am doing a good job than the smile she gets when she sees me. She knows I love her but she has no idea just how much.
Being a mom causes me to evaluate myself often and I'm not the type of person who does well looking at her flaws. I'm extremely scrupulous and I beat myself up over everything so a lot of times I try to avoid it. Not the way to get to heaven but it was the only way I found to avoid those nasty tummy aches I got when I realized just how sinful I am and how undeserving I am of God's love and mercy.
Still, God chose to bless me with an amazing husband and two beautiful baby girls. And as I said, being a mom means having to be constantly trying to improve yourself so you can do a better job for your kids. And I suppose that right there is what forces me to do it. I have to do it for my kids and I would do anything for them. Examining my sinfulness becomes something that I want to do. For them. With this new revelation I've found that I spend less time beating myself up over every mistake I make. It's not because I care less but because I can't afford to take time out of loving them to nurture my self pity.
I can still try to atone for my sins but in a much more productive way. Offering up those late nights, the diapers that get all over everything, the tantrums, and the outfits covered in vomit. Even something as small as the dishes becomes a sacrifice. I can do the dishes, which I despise, remembering how I am doing it to serve God and my family. It's not fun but it's infinitely more bearable. I put a placard by my sick with the quote from Mother Theresa that says, "Do small things with great love." because I know that it what my vocation is all about. It is the small things of day to day life that will get me to heaven despite my sinfulness. I'm not perfect but this vocation is giving me so many ways to become like Our Lady and she was.
Tonight my little buddy is sitting on my lap. I would love to be sleeping right now but she wants to snuggle and just be with me. It won't be this way forever, someday she'll be too cool for me, then in college, then married or a nun, and I won't be able to have her sit on my lap and just be. So as much as I would love to sleep, I am enjoying this time.
When I get too down on myself I have to remember the way she loves me. I may not be a perfect mother but my child adores me. She thinks that I am. She doesn't know that I can't sew or sing but she doesn't care. All she cares about is that I love her and that I take care of her, which I do. There is no greater proof to me that I am doing a good job than the smile she gets when she sees me. She knows I love her but she has no idea just how much.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
In God's hands
When people used to ask me how many kids I wanted I used to say, "Four." Now, I'm not sure what to say. I'm 25 and have two daughters but that isn't what gives me pause. It's because I have no idea what God's will is for us and I don't want to answer for Him.
Almost a year after Kyle and I got married we were living in his home town of Houston, Texas and I was getting homesick for my family and for the northeast. I wasn't having much luck in the job department either. With a double major in Theology and Catechetics I was obviously looking for something within my field and was coming up with nothing. I spent the first few months of our marriage teaching preschool until I contracted mono and consequently ended up being forced out of that position and took a job at one of my favorite retail chains where I spent more money on clothes than I made.
The whole time a applied for every job within my field that became available but it just wasn't happening. Houston is one of those places where you have to know the right people and we didn't. Fortunately for us, when we decide to look outside of Texas, my mom did. I was hired as a youth minister at a small parish in Massachusetts and we were scheduled to move shortly before our one year anniversary.
With the knowledge on impending employment we decided to be a little bit more relaxed with our practice of NFP and therefore became pregnant right away. Except I didn't know it. I went to a Life Teen training retreat where I thought I got my period but even through that the whole time I had this feeling that something was off. I got home, my period went away, but I continued to have light spotting. After about a week of that we decided to take a pregnancy test and it was positive. I was pregnant but something was wrong.
Blood tests confirmed that my HCG levels were rising but not as they should have and the doctors were unable to locate a baby in my uterus. They told me to wait, I waited a week, and one Saturday night in June I was rushed to the hospital in the most intense pain of my life.
With this ultrasound they found our baby but he was not where he should be. It was an ectopic pregnancy and I was schedule for surgery as soon as possible. We consulted a priest friend of ours who we trust for orthodoxy and prayer and realized the only way this could be done and still preserve the dignity of the life of our unborn child would mean the loss of one of my fallopian tubes. I received the anointing of the sick, made my confession, and stayed a sleepless night in the hospital with my husband and mother-in-law by my side. It was the worst night of my life.
After the surgery I was obviously happy to still be alive but I was broken in every way possible. I was in incredible physical pain and even worse emotional pain. I spent the next week in bed sobbing as Kyle held me and my in-laws packed up our apartment to move. We had lost that first child that we had created and half of my fertility. I had always wanted to have children, for as long as I can remember that is all I wanted to do with my life. I had stuffed pillows in my shirt at two, pretended to breastfeed my stuffed animals at three, played house, thought of names, imagined everything about it and it was like all those dreams were slipping through my fingers. In one night I had to come to terms with my own mortality, I could have died if we hadn't gone in and waited like my doctor had told me to do, and the idea that I could lose my future too.
I went though the stages of grief, one by one. Denial, what I had been in until I was rushed into surgery. Anger, at all of those people who complained about their pregnancies and about their children. Didn't they know how lucky they were? Bargaining, Just give me one baby God. Just one. Depression, that one lasted the longest.
And then finally, one September night, acceptance. It had been months that I couldn't drive past a Babies R Us without tearing up. That night, as I passed it on my way home I decided to pull in. I just needed to be there. As I walked around the isles by myself I prayed and talked to the little baby we had lost. I told him that I loved him and I couldn't wait to meet him someday in heaven and that I wanted him to intercede for us before God so that he could have a sibling.
I don't know if I already was, or if it happened that night, or maybe in the nights that followed, but it was about two weeks later that I took another pregnancy test and it was positive again. That day I knew that God's plan was unfolding in a beautiful way.
My pregnancy was extremely difficult but I made it a point not to complain. See, too many people don't get my happy ending. I have two beautiful babies and so many people never even get one. How can I complain about something so amazing? Motherhood is supposed to challenge us, that's how we become purified for Christ, and why shouldn't it start right at the beginning in our first trimester. I was so thankful for the sickness, I swear I would throw up and just praise God because I couldn't believe that I was having a baby. It was a constant reminder of God's abundant MERCY.
Madeleine was born one year to the day from when we lost our first sweet baby, who I named David. God makes all things new.
There are still times that I mourn for our loss but I know deep down that this is the way God intended it to be. Without that loss I wouldn't have that same appreciation for the difficult times of motherhood, just like without knowledge of our sinfulness we cannot appreciate God's MERCY and forgiveness. We have a child in heaven interceding for us and Madeleine in our arms to show us God's love here on earth.
The other blessing of that time was Kyle. I had obviously been in love with him before, I married him after all, but our love was taken to a whole new level through this trial of faith. Kyle laid down his life to take care of me day after day. He carried me to Christ when he himself was broken by grief. We held each other and learned to trust each other more than we ever had before. I could see Christ in him more clearly and it was so beautiful. That is what marriage is all about. That is why I married that man. So he could be Christ to me.
So when people ask me how many kids I want I have to tell them that it isn't in my hands. I know full well that something could happen and I could not be able to give birth again. I know that I have many fertile years ahead of me and don't exactly have the best grasp on NFP. And I know that God's plan is so much better than mine so I had better trust Him.
For now, I'll enjoy my husband and our two beautiful daughters. I'm not in any rush right now. But I also keep some baby names in the back of my mind... just in case.
Sweet baby David, pray for us.
Almost a year after Kyle and I got married we were living in his home town of Houston, Texas and I was getting homesick for my family and for the northeast. I wasn't having much luck in the job department either. With a double major in Theology and Catechetics I was obviously looking for something within my field and was coming up with nothing. I spent the first few months of our marriage teaching preschool until I contracted mono and consequently ended up being forced out of that position and took a job at one of my favorite retail chains where I spent more money on clothes than I made.
The whole time a applied for every job within my field that became available but it just wasn't happening. Houston is one of those places where you have to know the right people and we didn't. Fortunately for us, when we decide to look outside of Texas, my mom did. I was hired as a youth minister at a small parish in Massachusetts and we were scheduled to move shortly before our one year anniversary.
With the knowledge on impending employment we decided to be a little bit more relaxed with our practice of NFP and therefore became pregnant right away. Except I didn't know it. I went to a Life Teen training retreat where I thought I got my period but even through that the whole time I had this feeling that something was off. I got home, my period went away, but I continued to have light spotting. After about a week of that we decided to take a pregnancy test and it was positive. I was pregnant but something was wrong.
Blood tests confirmed that my HCG levels were rising but not as they should have and the doctors were unable to locate a baby in my uterus. They told me to wait, I waited a week, and one Saturday night in June I was rushed to the hospital in the most intense pain of my life.
With this ultrasound they found our baby but he was not where he should be. It was an ectopic pregnancy and I was schedule for surgery as soon as possible. We consulted a priest friend of ours who we trust for orthodoxy and prayer and realized the only way this could be done and still preserve the dignity of the life of our unborn child would mean the loss of one of my fallopian tubes. I received the anointing of the sick, made my confession, and stayed a sleepless night in the hospital with my husband and mother-in-law by my side. It was the worst night of my life.
After the surgery I was obviously happy to still be alive but I was broken in every way possible. I was in incredible physical pain and even worse emotional pain. I spent the next week in bed sobbing as Kyle held me and my in-laws packed up our apartment to move. We had lost that first child that we had created and half of my fertility. I had always wanted to have children, for as long as I can remember that is all I wanted to do with my life. I had stuffed pillows in my shirt at two, pretended to breastfeed my stuffed animals at three, played house, thought of names, imagined everything about it and it was like all those dreams were slipping through my fingers. In one night I had to come to terms with my own mortality, I could have died if we hadn't gone in and waited like my doctor had told me to do, and the idea that I could lose my future too.
I went though the stages of grief, one by one. Denial, what I had been in until I was rushed into surgery. Anger, at all of those people who complained about their pregnancies and about their children. Didn't they know how lucky they were? Bargaining, Just give me one baby God. Just one. Depression, that one lasted the longest.
And then finally, one September night, acceptance. It had been months that I couldn't drive past a Babies R Us without tearing up. That night, as I passed it on my way home I decided to pull in. I just needed to be there. As I walked around the isles by myself I prayed and talked to the little baby we had lost. I told him that I loved him and I couldn't wait to meet him someday in heaven and that I wanted him to intercede for us before God so that he could have a sibling.
I don't know if I already was, or if it happened that night, or maybe in the nights that followed, but it was about two weeks later that I took another pregnancy test and it was positive again. That day I knew that God's plan was unfolding in a beautiful way.
My pregnancy was extremely difficult but I made it a point not to complain. See, too many people don't get my happy ending. I have two beautiful babies and so many people never even get one. How can I complain about something so amazing? Motherhood is supposed to challenge us, that's how we become purified for Christ, and why shouldn't it start right at the beginning in our first trimester. I was so thankful for the sickness, I swear I would throw up and just praise God because I couldn't believe that I was having a baby. It was a constant reminder of God's abundant MERCY.
Madeleine was born one year to the day from when we lost our first sweet baby, who I named David. God makes all things new.
There are still times that I mourn for our loss but I know deep down that this is the way God intended it to be. Without that loss I wouldn't have that same appreciation for the difficult times of motherhood, just like without knowledge of our sinfulness we cannot appreciate God's MERCY and forgiveness. We have a child in heaven interceding for us and Madeleine in our arms to show us God's love here on earth.
The other blessing of that time was Kyle. I had obviously been in love with him before, I married him after all, but our love was taken to a whole new level through this trial of faith. Kyle laid down his life to take care of me day after day. He carried me to Christ when he himself was broken by grief. We held each other and learned to trust each other more than we ever had before. I could see Christ in him more clearly and it was so beautiful. That is what marriage is all about. That is why I married that man. So he could be Christ to me.
So when people ask me how many kids I want I have to tell them that it isn't in my hands. I know full well that something could happen and I could not be able to give birth again. I know that I have many fertile years ahead of me and don't exactly have the best grasp on NFP. And I know that God's plan is so much better than mine so I had better trust Him.
For now, I'll enjoy my husband and our two beautiful daughters. I'm not in any rush right now. But I also keep some baby names in the back of my mind... just in case.
Sweet baby David, pray for us.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Everything I need to know about parenting I learned from Jack Bauer
I used to watch 24. A lot. And I learned many things that have helped me in parenting. This is what I have learned.
1. You need to be able to see many things going on all at once.
A fan of 24 knows the shot. The screen is divided into four frames. Upper left, Jack being all BA about it. Upper right, Kim being an idiot. Lower left, terrorist being naughty. Lower right, people typing on computers looking concerned. In the center, IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK!!!!
As a mom, you need to have this skill. For instance in my world it looks a little like this. Mind divided into four frames. Upper left, I'm in the kitchen cooking up some nom noms. Upper right, Kyle is on the computer. Looking at airplanes. Again. Lower left, Madeleine has grabbed a shoe and is walking towards her sister. Lower right, Juliette is happily shaking a rattle. IT'S ALMOST NAP TIME!!!!
The reason this skill is important will be evident soon.
2. Terrorists want to make things explode.
This peaceful scene melds into one and Madeleine is throwing the shoe at her sister's head. (Side note, Madeleine never does this to be mean unlike the terrorists of 24 who enjoy them some killing. Madeleine simply loves shoes. And wants to share. Hard) Juliette explodes in screeching, crying hysteria. Explodes!
3. Terrorists do not want to be caught.
Madeleine hears the explosion and immediately runs away from the scene with a shocked look in her green eyes. The pursuit is on. It usually doesn't take to long as Kyle and I are full sized adults and she is a little toddler but she tries to run anyway. Just as no terrorist can hide from Jack Bauer, oh Madeleine cannot hide from us. Not even in her princess tent. We catch her. Because we saw the whole thing. (Now you get number one!)
4. WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS.
After catching a terrorist Jack Bauer usually breaks a few knee caps, snaps a few fingers, shoots someone in the leg. Ya know, standard stuff. We have much, much worse ways. We calmly look her in the eye and say "No Madeleine we do not throw things at our baby." And then we put her in time out. For two minutes. She may cry and say, "Peeze" in a voice that could melt your heart, but she still receives her time out. The whole two minutes of it.
5. Offer redemption.
In Jack Bauer's world it's something like, "Tell me what I want to know or I will cut out your pancreas. In our world it means that we pick up our darling little girl, give her a hug, wipe the tears from her eyes, look at her and say, "We do not throw things at our baby. Can you please go give your baby a kiss?"
And our sweet little girl toddles over to her sister, bends down lovingly, says "Baby!" and kisses her little head.
Jack Bauer may save the world every other day but I have learned to lovingly discipline a toddler. Point, me.
1. You need to be able to see many things going on all at once.
A fan of 24 knows the shot. The screen is divided into four frames. Upper left, Jack being all BA about it. Upper right, Kim being an idiot. Lower left, terrorist being naughty. Lower right, people typing on computers looking concerned. In the center, IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK!!!!
As a mom, you need to have this skill. For instance in my world it looks a little like this. Mind divided into four frames. Upper left, I'm in the kitchen cooking up some nom noms. Upper right, Kyle is on the computer. Looking at airplanes. Again. Lower left, Madeleine has grabbed a shoe and is walking towards her sister. Lower right, Juliette is happily shaking a rattle. IT'S ALMOST NAP TIME!!!!
The reason this skill is important will be evident soon.
2. Terrorists want to make things explode.
This peaceful scene melds into one and Madeleine is throwing the shoe at her sister's head. (Side note, Madeleine never does this to be mean unlike the terrorists of 24 who enjoy them some killing. Madeleine simply loves shoes. And wants to share. Hard) Juliette explodes in screeching, crying hysteria. Explodes!
3. Terrorists do not want to be caught.
Madeleine hears the explosion and immediately runs away from the scene with a shocked look in her green eyes. The pursuit is on. It usually doesn't take to long as Kyle and I are full sized adults and she is a little toddler but she tries to run anyway. Just as no terrorist can hide from Jack Bauer, oh Madeleine cannot hide from us. Not even in her princess tent. We catch her. Because we saw the whole thing. (Now you get number one!)
4. WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS.
After catching a terrorist Jack Bauer usually breaks a few knee caps, snaps a few fingers, shoots someone in the leg. Ya know, standard stuff. We have much, much worse ways. We calmly look her in the eye and say "No Madeleine we do not throw things at our baby." And then we put her in time out. For two minutes. She may cry and say, "Peeze" in a voice that could melt your heart, but she still receives her time out. The whole two minutes of it.
5. Offer redemption.
In Jack Bauer's world it's something like, "Tell me what I want to know or I will cut out your pancreas. In our world it means that we pick up our darling little girl, give her a hug, wipe the tears from her eyes, look at her and say, "We do not throw things at our baby. Can you please go give your baby a kiss?"
And our sweet little girl toddles over to her sister, bends down lovingly, says "Baby!" and kisses her little head.
Jack Bauer may save the world every other day but I have learned to lovingly discipline a toddler. Point, me.
Mass without children
I'll be completely honest. I can't remember the last time I was really able to focus while at mass. It was difficult enough with just one child but with two, forget it. When Juliette isn't fussing, Madeleine is taking the hymnals out of the pew and throwing them on the floor... and then picking them up... and then throwing them on the floor. I'm always worrying about something and no matter how hard I try it seems like I am never "there" for the whole hour.
My vocation as a mother is making me holier. I still have a long way to go but I can see why God has called me to this life. I am growing in patience and virtue and love and I am learning how to truly lay down my life for others. I remember thinking I was holy, way back when I was a naive single girl with nothing to focus on except my relationship with God. And then I started dating Kyle and realized that the only reason I thought I was holy was because my shortcomings weren't being tested. It's easy, at least for me, to put God above myself. It's much harder to put others above myself as well. Being a wife and my mom, well that's pretty much the job description. I can't succeed at my vocation unless I am willing to be selfless.
With all that said, some days I look back on my time at Franciscan with a wistful sigh. It was beautiful to be able to sign up for a holy hour and attend a mass without having to clear my schedule, make sure my kids are both fed and rested, pack a diaper bag, and somehow manage to get both of them into the building by myself. I mean, I can barely handle it when Kyle is with me to help. Lately I have been craving that alone time with God. It may sound funny, but it's kind of come hand in hand with my obsession with the royal wedding.
God, the KING, has chosen me, a commoner, to be his bride! This wedding between William and Kate is seen as a once and a lifetime thing but in Truth, it happens anytime someone becomes a part of the Catholic Church, the bride of Christ. And like Kate, people are looking at us and we face a lot of scrutiny. People want us to mess up every bit as much as they want us to succeed and we have to be prepared to have our lives looked at with a magnifying glass. Just like Kate is the face of the monarchy during a time when it's future is in jeopardy, we are the face of the Church in a time where it is under such attack. And like Kate is an icon for what she wears, we can set trends by clothing ourselves in virtue, something that is so counter cultural to the world in which we live. If we make living holy lives look good, then maybe we will be the trend setters.
But as I explore my call as God's bride I crave a one on one date with him. I haven't gone out on my own with Kyle since Juliette was born but it's been even longer since Jesus and I have been alone together.
Tonight I drove down to my parent's house with the girls because Kyle had to fly to Houston for the funeral of his Aunt Barbra. My youngest sister, Carly, offered to watch the girls when I got here so I could go to the 7:00 mass. Even though I sat with my sister Hannah and my parents I had an experience with Christ like we were the only two there. My vision of the altar before me was mixed with an image of what mass must have been like when the mass was first celebrated. I could imagine the dirt where the early Christians knelt, the fear of being discovered mixed with the eagerness to take on the crown of martyrdom, and how they must have ached to receive Christ in the Eucharist not knowing when the next time they would be joined in such an intimate way with their bridegroom. The world I knew faded and I was brought into the world as it should be. A world where everything is centered around Christ.
My husband and my daughters are the most precious things on earth to me but Jesus is the most precious thing on earth and in heaven. It's moments like that one that give me the strength for day to day life. The knowledge that even if Jesus and I don't get to be on our own that often that we have a love that will endure by the little moments we get together each day. But I know we both crave those one on one dates, that time away from the rest of the world, where is can just. be. us.
My vocation as a mother is making me holier. I still have a long way to go but I can see why God has called me to this life. I am growing in patience and virtue and love and I am learning how to truly lay down my life for others. I remember thinking I was holy, way back when I was a naive single girl with nothing to focus on except my relationship with God. And then I started dating Kyle and realized that the only reason I thought I was holy was because my shortcomings weren't being tested. It's easy, at least for me, to put God above myself. It's much harder to put others above myself as well. Being a wife and my mom, well that's pretty much the job description. I can't succeed at my vocation unless I am willing to be selfless.
With all that said, some days I look back on my time at Franciscan with a wistful sigh. It was beautiful to be able to sign up for a holy hour and attend a mass without having to clear my schedule, make sure my kids are both fed and rested, pack a diaper bag, and somehow manage to get both of them into the building by myself. I mean, I can barely handle it when Kyle is with me to help. Lately I have been craving that alone time with God. It may sound funny, but it's kind of come hand in hand with my obsession with the royal wedding.
God, the KING, has chosen me, a commoner, to be his bride! This wedding between William and Kate is seen as a once and a lifetime thing but in Truth, it happens anytime someone becomes a part of the Catholic Church, the bride of Christ. And like Kate, people are looking at us and we face a lot of scrutiny. People want us to mess up every bit as much as they want us to succeed and we have to be prepared to have our lives looked at with a magnifying glass. Just like Kate is the face of the monarchy during a time when it's future is in jeopardy, we are the face of the Church in a time where it is under such attack. And like Kate is an icon for what she wears, we can set trends by clothing ourselves in virtue, something that is so counter cultural to the world in which we live. If we make living holy lives look good, then maybe we will be the trend setters.
But as I explore my call as God's bride I crave a one on one date with him. I haven't gone out on my own with Kyle since Juliette was born but it's been even longer since Jesus and I have been alone together.
Tonight I drove down to my parent's house with the girls because Kyle had to fly to Houston for the funeral of his Aunt Barbra. My youngest sister, Carly, offered to watch the girls when I got here so I could go to the 7:00 mass. Even though I sat with my sister Hannah and my parents I had an experience with Christ like we were the only two there. My vision of the altar before me was mixed with an image of what mass must have been like when the mass was first celebrated. I could imagine the dirt where the early Christians knelt, the fear of being discovered mixed with the eagerness to take on the crown of martyrdom, and how they must have ached to receive Christ in the Eucharist not knowing when the next time they would be joined in such an intimate way with their bridegroom. The world I knew faded and I was brought into the world as it should be. A world where everything is centered around Christ.
My husband and my daughters are the most precious things on earth to me but Jesus is the most precious thing on earth and in heaven. It's moments like that one that give me the strength for day to day life. The knowledge that even if Jesus and I don't get to be on our own that often that we have a love that will endure by the little moments we get together each day. But I know we both crave those one on one dates, that time away from the rest of the world, where is can just. be. us.
The day I gave birth. In Pictures. Part 2.
Okay, so these are from the couple of days after I gave birth but still. Adorableness.
Juliette has always loved to be swaddled. Madeleine broke out of her swaddle at about one month, ready to sleep with her arms free. To this day, nearly five months later, Juliette will only sleep swaddled. I am beginning to become convinced that we are going to have to teach her future college roommate how to swaddle her.
Juliette in her going home outfit. I mean, could she be an cuter? No.
My sister and Godmother to Juliette meeting her niece/goddaughter for the first time. It was total love.
Madeleine with Bitty Baby in the new Bitty Baby crib we got her as her "big sister" gift. Apparently unclear on how it is used.
Is anything more wonderful than a grandmother with her grandbaby? I remember when my parents used to get excited about seeing me. Now I'm just that woman who drives the grandkids to our house!
So this was my experience of birthing and bringing home my little Juliette in ten little pictures. Words can't do justice to how happy we are and just how wonderful she is. We love you Juliette our Pet.
Juliette has always loved to be swaddled. Madeleine broke out of her swaddle at about one month, ready to sleep with her arms free. To this day, nearly five months later, Juliette will only sleep swaddled. I am beginning to become convinced that we are going to have to teach her future college roommate how to swaddle her.
Juliette in her going home outfit. I mean, could she be an cuter? No.
My sister and Godmother to Juliette meeting her niece/goddaughter for the first time. It was total love.
Madeleine with Bitty Baby in the new Bitty Baby crib we got her as her "big sister" gift. Apparently unclear on how it is used.
Is anything more wonderful than a grandmother with her grandbaby? I remember when my parents used to get excited about seeing me. Now I'm just that woman who drives the grandkids to our house!
So this was my experience of birthing and bringing home my little Juliette in ten little pictures. Words can't do justice to how happy we are and just how wonderful she is. We love you Juliette our Pet.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The things I get excited about
So, I'm going to confess to something. I'm not a "Suzy Homemaker" type. I don't enjoy cleaning, I'm not into gardening, and the idea of doing CRAFTS sends me into major panic attacks. But there are things I really enjoy about being a stay at home mom and a home maker.
1. Fresh laundry
2. Cloth diapering
3. Making my own baby food
4. A freshly stocked fridge
5. Taking the kids out for fresh air or a day in Boston
6. Meeting other moms and talking all things baby
7. Killing a meal I've never made before
8. Dance parties
9. My minivan
These are all things that I get absurdly excited about. Some people may think, based on my list, that I live a boring life. But I don't. I am constantly thinking about how blessed I am, how amazing my life is. Not everyone would be ready for marriage at 21 but I was. Not everyone would be ready for kids at 23 but I was. Not everyone would be ready for another baby 17 months later but I was. I love my life and I wouldn't change a thing about it.
So forget that I can't sew and have no desire to try. And once again, I HATE CRAFTS. WITH A PASSION. I love my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything
1. Fresh laundry
2. Cloth diapering
3. Making my own baby food
4. A freshly stocked fridge
5. Taking the kids out for fresh air or a day in Boston
6. Meeting other moms and talking all things baby
7. Killing a meal I've never made before
8. Dance parties
9. My minivan
These are all things that I get absurdly excited about. Some people may think, based on my list, that I live a boring life. But I don't. I am constantly thinking about how blessed I am, how amazing my life is. Not everyone would be ready for marriage at 21 but I was. Not everyone would be ready for kids at 23 but I was. Not everyone would be ready for another baby 17 months later but I was. I love my life and I wouldn't change a thing about it.
So forget that I can't sew and have no desire to try. And once again, I HATE CRAFTS. WITH A PASSION. I love my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Why I'm not a fan of how-to blogs
There are so many mom blogs out there and there are so many schools of thought on parenting. Each mom tries, hopefully, to do her best for her kids. She takes the advice of her own mother, books, friends, her pediatrician, and melds them together with her own instincts. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with sweet Madeleine on October 7th, 2008, I have been trying to make my own way. For a while I became overwhelmed by all the different possibilities and paths that motherhood provided. My starting point and ending point would be the goal of getting my child ready for heaven, but I had no idea what would be on that path.
Finding your own way to mother your children is a lot like finding your spirituality. There are so many options, so much wealth from those who have gone before you and done it successfully, and sometimes I felt like I could lose myself along the way if I listened to others to much and didn't trust myself.
There are the essentials in both. Mass, Adoration, Confession, Prayer, Mary, Scripture and Tradition in finding your path to Christ. In Motherhood, love, discipline, food, education. And then there are the things you can do to enhance your spiritual life or your life as a mother. There are rosaries, Liturgy of the Hours, Divine Mercy Chaplets, devotion to certain saints, litanies and other such kinds of prayer. In motherhood there is cosleeping, baby wearing, cloth diapering, homeschooling, play groups, dance lessons, sports teams, etc. And then there is the "type" you fall into. Traditional or Charismatic? Crunchy Granola or Urban Mom on the Go?
So what I end up wondering is at the end of the day, why do we let ourselves be defined and even divided by the non essentials? I am a mom. It's who I am, what I do, what I love. My kids are healthy, happy and thriving. And usually so is my spiritual life. So how come I am judged for what I do or don't do with them? For saying I don't do natural child birth or I plan to home school. For saying that I love praise and worship as well as receiving communion at the altar rail. People seem to take those little differences to dismiss me and other moms. But the thing is, what we can all agree on, is that God is first in our lives. So are our kids. Why can't we be united on that and encourage each other on our separate paths. After all, we may be on different paths but we are hopefully trying to get to the same place; heaven.
I'm not a fan of mom blogs that tell you how to do things, at least tell your how you SHOULD do things, because I believe that God created us each as individuals. I could not be the same mother as you, just as I could not have the same spirituality as you or be married to your husband. One of the glorious things about God is that for as many different souls as He creates, he creates that many paths to Him. On my path to him are my husband and children. I will love them in my own unique way because that is the way he created me to love them. I love advice, I love tips, because we should all want to do our best, but I don't want you to tell me that your way is the only way. For you, maybe. For me, no.
My prayers are with all of my fellow mommies. This job we have is challenging enough on it's own and moms every day can be brought down by the pressures they put on themselves. Let's be a support to each other and not another cross.
Lord, thank you for my precious daughters and for creating me to be their mommy. I will always try to love them with your love and to reflect your mother in all I do.
Finding your own way to mother your children is a lot like finding your spirituality. There are so many options, so much wealth from those who have gone before you and done it successfully, and sometimes I felt like I could lose myself along the way if I listened to others to much and didn't trust myself.
There are the essentials in both. Mass, Adoration, Confession, Prayer, Mary, Scripture and Tradition in finding your path to Christ. In Motherhood, love, discipline, food, education. And then there are the things you can do to enhance your spiritual life or your life as a mother. There are rosaries, Liturgy of the Hours, Divine Mercy Chaplets, devotion to certain saints, litanies and other such kinds of prayer. In motherhood there is cosleeping, baby wearing, cloth diapering, homeschooling, play groups, dance lessons, sports teams, etc. And then there is the "type" you fall into. Traditional or Charismatic? Crunchy Granola or Urban Mom on the Go?
So what I end up wondering is at the end of the day, why do we let ourselves be defined and even divided by the non essentials? I am a mom. It's who I am, what I do, what I love. My kids are healthy, happy and thriving. And usually so is my spiritual life. So how come I am judged for what I do or don't do with them? For saying I don't do natural child birth or I plan to home school. For saying that I love praise and worship as well as receiving communion at the altar rail. People seem to take those little differences to dismiss me and other moms. But the thing is, what we can all agree on, is that God is first in our lives. So are our kids. Why can't we be united on that and encourage each other on our separate paths. After all, we may be on different paths but we are hopefully trying to get to the same place; heaven.
I'm not a fan of mom blogs that tell you how to do things, at least tell your how you SHOULD do things, because I believe that God created us each as individuals. I could not be the same mother as you, just as I could not have the same spirituality as you or be married to your husband. One of the glorious things about God is that for as many different souls as He creates, he creates that many paths to Him. On my path to him are my husband and children. I will love them in my own unique way because that is the way he created me to love them. I love advice, I love tips, because we should all want to do our best, but I don't want you to tell me that your way is the only way. For you, maybe. For me, no.
My prayers are with all of my fellow mommies. This job we have is challenging enough on it's own and moms every day can be brought down by the pressures they put on themselves. Let's be a support to each other and not another cross.
Lord, thank you for my precious daughters and for creating me to be their mommy. I will always try to love them with your love and to reflect your mother in all I do.
Friday, April 1, 2011
It's been a crazy few months
In late November we added one new baby Behr to our family. Miss Juliette was born after a quick and easy labor at which Daddy Behr and Grandma were present.
Since that morning life has been hectic. Anyone who has ever had more than one kid can tell you that being a mommy to more than one certainly has it's challenges but I am pleased to announce that it really isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Maybe because my kids are awesome, maybe because I am awesome, but despite being busy I have managed to stay sane and stable and am loving every minute of watching my two beautiful babies grow.
Madeleine is completely in love with her little sister. It's "baby! baby!" all the time every day. And who would have thought a little girl under the age of two would be such a help either? Madeleine loves to entertain her sister, makes her smile and giggle, and I'm not going to lie, it kind of melts my heart to see them together.
Juliette is an absolute sweetheart. She has big brown eyes, a tiny little nose, and the most beautiful smile. I mean, the kid must be happy because she smiles a lot. She constantly wants to be held and while Madeleine would go to almost anyone, Juliette is a momma's girl. She loves being in momma's arms and I don't mind having her there. She sleeps through the night, nurses like a champ, and is a little brunette version of me. My husband can barely tell our baby pictures apart. Of course, my mom insists she has my sister's eyes and my grandmother-in-law insists she looks like her mom but I know the truth, she looks just like me.
I've recently entered into the world of cloth diapering and love it. I am now two thirds crunchy granola. I plan on home schooling, I cloth diaper, but by George I will never, ever go without an epidural on purpose. I love those things more than I love my cleaning lady and I love her a lot.
Kyle got a promotion at work which means he is really moving up fast in the company. We moved out of our old apartment to a new one with a big bathroom, a nice neighborhood, and no sketchy jerks upstairs. Yay us.
So anyway, babies have woken up and I must attend to them but I will hopefully, maybe keep up with this thing. Because Kyle thinks it's awesome.
Since that morning life has been hectic. Anyone who has ever had more than one kid can tell you that being a mommy to more than one certainly has it's challenges but I am pleased to announce that it really isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Maybe because my kids are awesome, maybe because I am awesome, but despite being busy I have managed to stay sane and stable and am loving every minute of watching my two beautiful babies grow.
Madeleine is completely in love with her little sister. It's "baby! baby!" all the time every day. And who would have thought a little girl under the age of two would be such a help either? Madeleine loves to entertain her sister, makes her smile and giggle, and I'm not going to lie, it kind of melts my heart to see them together.
Juliette is an absolute sweetheart. She has big brown eyes, a tiny little nose, and the most beautiful smile. I mean, the kid must be happy because she smiles a lot. She constantly wants to be held and while Madeleine would go to almost anyone, Juliette is a momma's girl. She loves being in momma's arms and I don't mind having her there. She sleeps through the night, nurses like a champ, and is a little brunette version of me. My husband can barely tell our baby pictures apart. Of course, my mom insists she has my sister's eyes and my grandmother-in-law insists she looks like her mom but I know the truth, she looks just like me.
I've recently entered into the world of cloth diapering and love it. I am now two thirds crunchy granola. I plan on home schooling, I cloth diaper, but by George I will never, ever go without an epidural on purpose. I love those things more than I love my cleaning lady and I love her a lot.
Kyle got a promotion at work which means he is really moving up fast in the company. We moved out of our old apartment to a new one with a big bathroom, a nice neighborhood, and no sketchy jerks upstairs. Yay us.
So anyway, babies have woken up and I must attend to them but I will hopefully, maybe keep up with this thing. Because Kyle thinks it's awesome.
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