One Year Ago Today

One year ago today at exactly 3:00 pm, the hour of Divine Mercy, God mercifully blessed me with our second daughter, Juliette Marie. Just like my world was turned upside down on the day her sister was born, my life has not been the same since.

When I woke up in the morning I knew that I was heading to the hospital and was getting induced but I had no idea of what was about to unfold. It was about five hours of easy labor and eight minutes of pushing when Juliette breathed her first breath outside of my big ole belly and the doctor placed her in my arms for the first time. Kyle was there, my mom was there, but at that moment all I could see were those big brown eyes and that red face and I was a goner. Completely, totally, and utterly in love right from the beginning.

The joy in being a mother and the entirety of my love for my child has in no way faded from my first baby to my second. Somehow God has allowed me to grow enough to love them both with everything I have.

Juliette, maybe someday you will read this, but you haven't just stolen my heart. You are my heart. You and Madeleine. Through Kyle, God filled my heart until it overflowed out of my body and now it lives and breathes as the two of you.

Someday, maybe as a teenager, you may tell me that I can be overly protective sometimes, worry all the time, ask you nagging questions, and interrigate every boy you even look at. You won't ever understand until you have kids of your own.

You are beautiful in a way that is uniquely yours and will never exist anywhere else. Your eyes, your smile, your personality. Even at the age of one you love so entirely and you are so fearless. I am both excited and a little nervous to see how those traits of yours shape your future.

Your sister adores you too. When we ask Madeleine who her best friend she responds that YOU are, without any question at all. And maybe someday you may fight over boys and clothes but since I have sisters I know that ultimately you will always remain the first and best friends each other will ever have.

For now though I am enjoying each and every moment of you being my baby. I love how when you nurse sometimes you stand up and push your head into me. I'm not even sure of how you accomplish that. I love how we have to block off anything that would allow you to climb on it because you will climb and then you will laugh at us when you have reached your little summit. I love how you snuggle stuffed animals, how you try to play with the big kids without ever realizing how much smaller you really are. I love that when you are angry you lie face down on the floor and cry just to show us we have displeased you. I love the growling noises you make as you play and explore, I love how you always end up in our bed at night because there is no place you would rather sleep than in my arms. I love how when your daddy gets home you stop whatever you are doing and fling yourself at him with joyful abandonment and how no one can make you laugh like your sister.

You are precious to me. Most of all I love how when you are crying all I have to do is hold you and you will stop. I hope that in the future you will always come to me to comfort you when you are sad but even if you don't, I'll still always be here.

Really, I just love you more than words or a blog post can ever express. You and that amazingly adorable big sister of yours'.

Happy First Birthday Juliette Marie. Thank you for making this past year nothing short of magical.