Motherhood should come with a stipend for undereye concealer.

Well I currently have a very teary little toddler on my lap. I was watching a show, winding down for the night, when I heard her crying from the other room. Since Juliette is running a fever from her shots (blahblahblahbadmomforgivinghershots blahblahblahbadmomifyoudon't... Can't we all just get along?) I had Madeleine in mommy and daddy's bed for the night since I was not taking any chance of her waking her little sister. So suddenly I hear, "MOOOOOOMMY! MOOOOOMMY!" and I run in there and Kyle is looking completely confused and she is sitting up sobbing. Poor Kyle and poor Madeleine.

I picked her up and took her too the couch and she dug her little face into my chest and just relaxed in my arms. I haven't been able to figure out what is wrong yet since she is responding "yes" to everything (apparently giving her favorite word "no" a little break) but have come to the conclusion that it was probably a bad dream, or even more likely, and upset belly. I'm not sure what kind of bad dreams a toddler can have but I imagine they involve her not being allowed to eat cookies and having to share her toys.

So here we are, it is almost two in the morning and I am awake. She is cuddled up contentedly on me for now but when I make any mention of going to bed she becomes hysterical. I know that as soon as I do fall asleep Juliette will wake up and want to nurse and the cycle will continue.

I won't get much sleep but tonight I'm not that worried about it. I'll probably drink a gallon of coffee tonight but honestly, I am just loving snuggling my girl. It feels good to know that I make her feel safe and that I can ease Juliette's suffering just by nursing and holding her. It won't always be this easy to make them feel better but for now I am cherishing the moments when a kiss from mommy solves all their problems because most days a kiss from them solves all of mine.

THANKS GOD

Oh geeze it has been a long freaking week. Awesome week but L.O.N.G.

Thanksgiving was wonderful. Well, the trip out there was no fun at all. I live 30 miles away form my aunt and uncle's house and it took me TWO HOURS to get there. Because 128 in MA was designed by the servants of evil and this state is run by communists. But once I was there my day went something like this:

CHEESE
Nap
TURKEY
Nap 2.0
PIE
Nap 3.0
Family Games

Not all of those naps involved sleeping. In most cases I curled up under a snuggie in front of the fire place with my eyes closed and I lay reeeeeally still so the babies would think I was sleeping and attack someone else. Then I would bask in the utter joy of warm piggie toes, a full belly, and the noise of a full house. Of course despite the amazing spread for both dinner and dessert my highlight of the day was all the cheese dips because, well, I heart cheese and I never allow myself to make it.

The family was as dys-FUN-ctional as usual, emphasis on the FUN and we spent a good portion of the day torturing my sister Hannah over her new boyfriend-type-person. Par for the course.

My sisters Carly and Hannah spent the night at my house and the next day my daaarling husband watched the girls so we could go see Breaking Dawn, hold hands, and cry and I really don't care who judges me for this, it was my favorite sexy vampire movie ever. My favorite movie ever. All other movies are now crap. (Hannah would be laughing right now if she ever read this thing.)

Saturday was coffee with Alexa, more family time, and drinks with Blair and Bethany. It was amazing to get out with friends and just be with people that make me laugh and love me and accept me and laugh at my jokes... who aren't related to me because the people who are related to me kinda have to do all those things. I don't get to get out much so mom, I really appreciate you babysitting. You are the best!

With such an amazing but busy weekend I fully expected the girls to be NAS-TY last night and they did not dissapoint. The new translation of the mass was BEAUTIFUL and their behavior was a little bit the opposite. After mass we put Madeleine in time out and she just sat there for like, an hour. We kept offering to get her out but she refused. I'm pretty sure she needed the space to just be alone too, my precious little introvert. After she was done she asked to be held and refused to be put down for the rest of the night. She just kept saying, "I want mommy. Up please mommy." So I snuggled her until she was almost asleep.

When Madeleine went to bed early, Juliette and I stayed up and played Peek-a-Boo together. She would take my hands, cover my face, take them away, and say, "BOO!" and then laugh hysterically. After about ten minutes of this she was SO JOYFUL that she would move my hands and instead of saying "boo!" she would kiss my face over and over. Then she passed out in my arms and instead of putting her in her crib I just held her and nuzzled her face for a while.

And, not to make this post too long but today I got the pleasure of catching up with a college friend, Kristen, who's birthday it was. Now I am planning on buddy passing her and her adorable son up to come see us soon!

Basically, this was rambling but this weekend was one big fest of Thankfulness. I am also thankful for the wedding of Theresa to her prince charming, Jess. I wasn't able to be there but I am so thankful for the life of love they embarked on together. The world needs more holy couples, these two (now one) will be such a light to the world.

Thankful for BABIES

If you ignore the mess in the background (and please do!) you'll see two of the people I am most thankful in the whole entire world... and me... smelling the baby... they smell so GOOD after a bath! I hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving! I'll be pigging out at my aunt and uncles. Should be a good day!

A playlist to get you through birth

Annnnnnd for all of you (like 200 page views a day people! I feel honored that that many people have any interest in what I have to say!) who aren't into mushy gushy feelings posts, this is my special super cool PLAYLIST OF SONGS TO GIVE BIRTH TO!!!

Ready?

When the contractions are particularly bad-

Head Will Roll by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (for singing to your husband/doctor/in a fit of hormonal rage)
Off with your head... heads will roll, heads will roll!

Misery by Maroon 5
I am in misery
There ain't nobody who can comfort me, oh yeah

Stronger by Kanye West
N-n-now that that don't kill me can only make me stronger

Right before you get your epidural-

Rehab by Amy Winehouse
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said NO NO NO!

Right after you get your epidural-

I Can See Clearly Now by Jonny Nash
I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared

Feeling Good by Nina Simone
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

When It's Finally Time to PUSH-

Push it by Salt n Peppa
Ah, push it - push it good
Ah, push it - p-push it real good
Oooh, baby, baby
Baby, baby

Drop it like it's Hot by Snoop Dogg
Drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot

Closing Time by Semisonic
Closing time
Time for you to go out to the places you will be from
Closing time
This room won't be open till your brothers or your sisters come

Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) by Billy Joel
Mama, If that's movin' up then I'm movin' out.

Ring of Fire by Johny Cash
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire
The ring of fire

And After the Baby Comes Out-

At last by Etta James
At last
My love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song

Oh yeah yeah, at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clover
The night I looked at you

And I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to press my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known

Oh yeah yeah, and you smile, you smile
Oh, and then the spell was cast
And here we are in Heaven
For you are mine at last


THE END!
Feel free to suggest your own songs so my playlist can be even better next time I have a baby!

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today at exactly 3:00 pm, the hour of Divine Mercy, God mercifully blessed me with our second daughter, Juliette Marie. Just like my world was turned upside down on the day her sister was born, my life has not been the same since.

When I woke up in the morning I knew that I was heading to the hospital and was getting induced but I had no idea of what was about to unfold. It was about five hours of easy labor and eight minutes of pushing when Juliette breathed her first breath outside of my big ole belly and the doctor placed her in my arms for the first time. Kyle was there, my mom was there, but at that moment all I could see were those big brown eyes and that red face and I was a goner. Completely, totally, and utterly in love right from the beginning.

The joy in being a mother and the entirety of my love for my child has in no way faded from my first baby to my second. Somehow God has allowed me to grow enough to love them both with everything I have.

Juliette, maybe someday you will read this, but you haven't just stolen my heart. You are my heart. You and Madeleine. Through Kyle, God filled my heart until it overflowed out of my body and now it lives and breathes as the two of you.

Someday, maybe as a teenager, you may tell me that I can be overly protective sometimes, worry all the time, ask you nagging questions, and interrigate every boy you even look at. You won't ever understand until you have kids of your own.

You are beautiful in a way that is uniquely yours and will never exist anywhere else. Your eyes, your smile, your personality. Even at the age of one you love so entirely and you are so fearless. I am both excited and a little nervous to see how those traits of yours shape your future.

Your sister adores you too. When we ask Madeleine who her best friend she responds that YOU are, without any question at all. And maybe someday you may fight over boys and clothes but since I have sisters I know that ultimately you will always remain the first and best friends each other will ever have.

For now though I am enjoying each and every moment of you being my baby. I love how when you nurse sometimes you stand up and push your head into me. I'm not even sure of how you accomplish that. I love how we have to block off anything that would allow you to climb on it because you will climb and then you will laugh at us when you have reached your little summit. I love how you snuggle stuffed animals, how you try to play with the big kids without ever realizing how much smaller you really are. I love that when you are angry you lie face down on the floor and cry just to show us we have displeased you. I love the growling noises you make as you play and explore, I love how you always end up in our bed at night because there is no place you would rather sleep than in my arms. I love how when your daddy gets home you stop whatever you are doing and fling yourself at him with joyful abandonment and how no one can make you laugh like your sister.

You are precious to me. Most of all I love how when you are crying all I have to do is hold you and you will stop. I hope that in the future you will always come to me to comfort you when you are sad but even if you don't, I'll still always be here.

Really, I just love you more than words or a blog post can ever express. You and that amazingly adorable big sister of yours'.

Happy First Birthday Juliette Marie. Thank you for making this past year nothing short of magical.

Nothing terrible about two

This is a picture of Madeleine in her pjs. She picked them out and completely dressed herself. And then posed. Also notice the hand in the bottom left corner reaching for the battery. That would be Pet. We got that out of her mouth just in time.


Since in all likelihood I will dedicate tomorrow's post to my mini-me, the almost ONE YEAR OLD Juliette my Pet, tonight I will celebrate Madeleine. But this isn't the cutsie celebration of last night. This is why my toddler is AWESOME.

I mean, for one thing, toddler are awesome. So what if she thinks the answer to "what do you want to eat" and "what color is this" is an emphatic NO? And sure, her favorite music to dance to are Beyonce club hits. But that isn't even the half of it. Two year olds are also creative and hilarious.

For instance the other day Madeleine was pretending to talk on the phone... which was actually the credit card she had taken from my wallet... BUT ANYWAY. I am listening to her and the conversation went something like this.

M- OH HI BOYS! COLLEGE! FRIENDS! BOYS!

After a lot of worrying and soul searching I realized that she was imitating the phone conversations I have with my sister Hannah which involve asking her about college and friends and boys. And she also told me she was on the phone with Hannah too. Of course, she could have told me this at the beginning of the conversation... you know, before I had time to worry about her.

And, earlier today Madeleine had her friend "Roz" over for a play date. Side note- I've learned that a play date between two year olds involves lots of pleas for cookies, full out wrestling, and standing on tables (don't worry Roz mommy, it was all totally supervised! lol) Anyway, since Roz left Madeleine has not stopped talking about her. We were sitting around tonight at about nine when Madeleine grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the door. This is made doubly entertaining since I was at the time sitting in the rolling desk chair and was therefore, rolling after her.

S- Madeleine... where are you taking mommy?
M- Come on mom! Madeleine and Roz go to park and play slide and swing. Moooooom! Leave NOW! CAR! SLIDE! (her sentences get shorter and more pointed when her emotions get going)
S- Madeleine, it is almost bed time we are not going to the park now. Is there anything else you want to do?
... she pauses...
M- Watch the Yankees please.

A girl after my own heart. This is the part at which Kyle and I applauded for her, gave her kisses, and gave each other a few self satisfied pats on the back.

I always thought two year olds were given a bad rap. Two year olds are awesome people and deserve respect. But if you ask them they will probably just say, "NO!!!!"

Jesus Mommy Hail Mary

Tonight at mass I just had an overwhelming knowledge of how blessed I am. Sitting next to my husband, both girls curled up on our laps... I have more than I could have ever dreamed of. I have been blessed by God so abundantly to have His love and then on top of that the love of such a holy man and such precious little daughters.

Then when we were leaving mass I got another blessing. We stopped by the statue of Mary like we always do to say hi and thank you to Jesus' mommy. Madeleine went running up with the biggest smile and started talking to her. When I thought she was done I told her we were heading home and she told me that she wanted to stay here. With Jesus Mommy Hail Mary.

With all the toys and cookies and movie in our home she preferred to be with the Blessed Mother thanking her for Baby Jesus. Sometimes I really wonder what God was giving me such gifts as these two little souls to care for me, but He has it under control. I forget that they already have a perfect mother in heaven and that whatever my weaknesses are that she will be taking care of my girls as well so I have nothing to worry about.

So thank you to Jesus' mommy Mary for loving my babies, show me how to be a mother like you!